•• 180114 1950hrs ••
its funny, how people start to appreciate things more when death or an end is involved. in my own personal view, death isnt really all that sad, its more like the sudden de-attachment and the unavailability(whether it be for the deceased's own benefit or for anyone else's) is really jarring, painful, shocking, what-not. or, people start to appreciate and look into little things more when they have a set deadline. if they didnt manage to enjoy enough, then they regret. but how will a dead person regret? diverging from death into generality, once things happen, things happen. how will you fix it? how will you get what you can? whats your end goal and how can you work to the closest you can get to it? happiness is in abundance. you get an F? fucking work for the goddamn A grade. short on sleep and time to finish an essay? consider sleeping and getting reprimanded or finishing the essay and burning out the rest day. but first, is it worth the pain and suffering? do ur parents skin u alive for a C? do you aim for an institution that requires high grades? does the grade matter? do you not mind getting a C? no? then get a C. if not no, and instead otherwise? go ahead and get the alternative. do you have enough(money, happiness, clothes, grades, ...)? its okay to want more and more. how could you be so selfish? its jarring seeing how people react when they suffer in a situation you've experienced as well and its so easy to imagine yourself in their boots but so hard bc the reaction is different. why do you shout and scream and sob and cry so much? in the same instance, why does the other laugh bitterly and accept so readily?