So this is the video that really started it all. Chad had been having these episodes in his sleep....they were really adorable, but I just knew that something wasn't right. The doctors that I checked with called it normal sleep growth behavior, but my mommy brain just knew better. These moments would make the hair on the back of my neck stand up....but I wanted to agree with the doctors. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This video was taken almost exactly one month before Chad's diagnosis and the reality was that the viscous tumor that would ultimately take his life, was eating away at him. I know now that God had been preparing me. I had been having dreams that would wake me up out of a deep sleep with tears in my eyes and I would be breaking out in a full sweat. Dreams about a mother's worst nightmare...dreams that would become my reality just 1 month later. These "sweet episodes" just weighed on me, but I tried to brush it aside.
Still today, if you ask the doctors, they can't tell you that episodes like this have anything to do with DIPG...why....because there isn't enough research into this disease and into all brain tumors. But us moms.....we know. I have spoken to several moms of DIPG angels who have similar memories....these sweet moments now torturous memories that lead into those "what if" thoughts. What if we had found it then....would it have made a difference?
The reality is that no it wouldn't have...the end result would have been the same for our sweet little boy...But that is why we continue to do what we do....so that one day, maybe finding this tumor a little earlier...maybe knowing what some of the early symptoms are.....that it will make a difference and that one day, there will ultimately be a cure. it wasn't in time for our baby, but it will be one day for someone else's.
So I truly ask you to jump in with us and we have the perfect opportunity for you ALL to get engaged. PLEASE consider joining us for our RunTough event on September 29th. Link in our bio. God bless - Tammi