I posted this yesterday. But then I took it down. I was kind of walking myself through it all. And logging down how I was feeling in that moment.. with exactly what was going on with me. That actually helps me study myself. I can go back and look at it later. I want people to understand this. I do it because it's also very important to me. I also want people to know (people who have the same thing as me.. TRAUMA).. I understand and we can overcome this. So that's why I'm posting it again today. I pulled myself out of that. A lot of times people would have to go to therapy, or go to the hospital for a couple days to pull themselves out of it. Many unfortunately don't/cant pull themselves out.. or in time.
That's when you'll know to yank them out hard... when they can't. I always have to at least attempt to try.
It was real tough to pull myself out of that yesterday while I was working. I literally broke down in tears while I was on stage you guys. Thankfully, there was nobody there at that moment. So nobody was at the tip rail.OMG, it's been so slow in there lately and that's been stressful too. I literally had tears running down my face though, I couldn't hold it in.
But Then After That... I Did, and work helped. I kept telling myself do the opposite.. DO THE OPPOSITE!! TURN THAT OFF!!!! Work actually helped a lot.. because it was something I could focus on and I was around people who do give me a lot of respect, understanding, unconditional love, and support. We had a lot of good healthy laughs yesterday. HugeHelp I'm feeling way better today and I'm hungry to get it.
And I did make a therapy appointment with a specialist who specializes in attachment disorders. I've been doing this on my own my whole life. Therapist will even tell me.. My God, the progress you have made on your own (with no help) is amazing. But... I don't want to do this alone anymore guys. So, I know because I've never done this before...this is something very opposite of what I normally do. So, this is going to Cause a Huge Change and Effect. #CauseAndEffect That's how we can All truly manifest our Own Realities. Because I have that Knowledge Now.. that's exactly why I'm doing it. #Wink