I want to share this photo with you. Yes our travels were amazing, and looking at the pictures and reliving the moments take me back to happy places. There were also struggles I had to address along the way. Being outside my routine, and safety net of healthy eating and exercise brings out my shadow. My shadow which brings out my eating disorder habits.
I hated the way I looked in my photos, picking apart my features, thinking I looked fat. In this photo I was showing @saaammmmmmmmmmm how much better I would look with a more chiseled jaw. He snapped this photo candidly without realizing. He showed me this photo, very upset with the way I was treating myself, during a supposedly happy time. He says it breaks his heart.
It’s important to realize that we are allowing our ego, our mind, our shadow to light the way in moments like this, instead of our light, love, and presence. Our minds are rarely true, especially in times like this.
Although I have overcome leaps and boundaries from my anorexia and bulimic days, I have days where I struggle to practice strength. The only thing that pulls me out is to concentrate on vibrating at a high level in order to keep me afloat. Typically meditation is the trick.
These are the times where I regain my inspiration and why I do the work I do - and channel it through my artwork.
Don’t be afraid to share you’re having a hard time, we all feel it too, even if social media doesn’t show it. .
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