Katie, 19, UK
TW : mention of self harm “I have been diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety, OCD and traits of Autism. I always felt like I was different to other children from a very young age ; I hated to socialise and work in groups. I used to make up illnesses to prevent me from going to school. It got a lot worse when I was in year 9 and 10. I had severe panic attacks every night and every morning before school. The thought of getting on the bus with other children, the thought of sitting in a classroom of 30+ students, it felt impossible and this drove me to self harm. I started self harming from the age of 11. First hitting and scratching myself then moving onto cutting and burning myself with cigarettes.
I started going to CAMHS (The Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) when I was 11 as I had problems at home at the time and felt so low I wouldn’t stop self harming. I was always known as the ‘chubby girl’ through primary and halfway through high school and I felt the only way I was going to be socially accepted was to stop eating full stop. I starved myself. I went from a size 12 to a 4 within a year and I wouldn’t stop until I could feel every single bone through my skin.
I stopped attending school in year 10, my attendance was the worst in the whole year; the attendance score was 14%. Teachers and the other students thought I just skived all the time, but it was to do with my mental health. At this point I was in a relationship with a boy who was very controlling. Telling me who I could and couldn’t talk to, what I could and couldn’t wear. It was physically and mentally exhausting. When he cheated, I went back to self harm. He was the only person I felt I had other than my close family.
I was sent to a small school in Worcester called the MET (The Medical Education Team), for children who suffer from learning difficulties and mental health problems that prevent them from going to a mainstream school.
As I had missed so much education because of my mental health, I left school with one GCSE, which was disappointing but.." For the full story, go to www.mhstories.com