I need to share something and I'm going to keep it real:
For the first time in my life, I can say that I love my body. It's a practice, some days are harder than others. But I am no longer punishing myself with food or exercise. I eat healthy because I enjoy it. I also ate an entire bag of chips yesterday. I regretted it because I felt shitty. But I didn't punish myself by starving myself either. I have had a long history of eating disorders and self hatred. And I actively practice self love now. When those old feelings creep up, I know the ways to shut it down before I spiral (usually. But I'm not perfect). BUT I am comfortable in my body. And I'm pretty comfortable naked. And that's not something I've ever been able to say.
I refrain from posting selfies like this because I was in the fitnes world years. I was the beachbody coach posting tons of before and after photos. I was constantly trying to lose weight and find self love and I was encouraging others to do the same. But I did it all wrong. And I hate the fitness industry that tells the "if you lose weight, you'll be happy" because that isn't true. I've lost and gained and lost it again. And I still didn't truly love myself.
It wasn't until last winter, when I found @butiyoga that I saw my body differently. I felt it differently. I loved it differently. It changed. And the weight melted off. And I've fluctuated a little, but I've maintained it because my mind shifted.
I found a group of supportive, smart, loving, smoking hot women of all shapes and sizes who are on this same journey. Learning to LOVE their bodies where they are, while finding their strength and discovering their power and sexuality and sweating out/ shedding all the bad shit from the past.
Losing weight is NOT going to make you happy long term. It might temporarily. Hitting that goal because you think it will make you more beautiful, or worthy, or sexy. It won't. You are all of those things right now. You have everything you need inside of you already.
I workout because I love my body and getting sweaty makes me feel sexy.
When I get on my mat I find clarity.
When I move my body, I feel free.
This is how I found myself.