It's 3 in the morning and I'm still thinking of you. You don't make me cry like you did, anymore. I'm still listening to our songs (I don't know why I called them our, but I'm listening to them). It's been quite long since I've been low, I've been trying to escape my thoughts and myself. I tried finding your replacement, she hasn't worked out either.
The weather's changing. It's starting to become warm again. I can feel the essence of love still in the air, the same phase. It's been over a year. I think less of you than I did earlier, yet, I think of you every single day. I noticed you unblocked me. I wish you could reply too. But it's okay, I understand your position, and I still wish for your happiness. So is the beauty of first love I guess? It's still the most beautiful feeling in the world.
Stumbled across your name in my phone, yet again today. This time gathered enough courage to open the conversation. Last message: 15.02.2017, reading the chats backwards, upto 12.01.2017, the memory of every message as clear as if it was just yesterday. I don't know if this will make any sense, but I relive the chats everytime I read them. I feel everything around me change, change to how it was when the conversation happened for the first time. It happened only once, obviously, but it has happened a lot in my head.
Ah, the beauty of first love! I still catch myself using phrases that snuck in from your vocabulary into my life. I still remember the puppy face you used to make, how we used to pull cheeks on video calls. I miss those times, no matter how dark they might've been. I might've gazed at our pictures occasionally, I won't admit to it. I tell people I'm over you, I guess I am, but in my dreams I still find my way to you, and I hope that one day, you will too, but in reality. --------------------------
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