Now that we are officially moving ahead with Theo's surgery, I find myself wondering often what my life will be like once I am sleeping. When hard things happen over a long period of time, you get used to them. You integrate them into your body and start to forget that it used to be different. When I had hyperemesis gravidarum, I truly forgot how it felt to not be nauseated every single moment of the day. Since Theo's birth, I have woken up with him about every hour on average. 18 months in and he nurses as much as (or more than) newborn. I am more than ten pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight, still haven't gotten my period back... I am so deeply drained, I can't even fathom how it will feel to get rest. Everyone keeps telling me how much Theo will thrive after his surgery and the thought brings tears to my eyes. And then I think, maybe this is my opportunity to thrive also. The hope I feel is like a ballon inside my gut. To thrive. All of us. What a gift that would be.