"I almost deleted my Instagram. A photo of me feeding Lilly was shared on @thebump and out of the 300+ comments, 200 of them were horrifying. I became the public whipping post to many degrading, humiliating and inhuman comments.
It turned into a platform for online bullying.
If you are not familiar with @thebump its a wide uplifting community with a wealth of information for: All things family. As such, predominately, a huge community of mothers.
As I read the comments, I felt sick, shocked and embarrassed; snot running down my face, I found myself thinking that because I shared this photo, I somehow asked to be treated this way. That it was my fault these women spoke about me like this.
I’m stunned at how there are so many people who believe that breastfeeding is only decent if under a cover, and if done any other way- just a sex act or for attention.
I’m shocked that so many people believe Lilly will be ashamed to see these photos when she’s older-as if its a disgusting act. Like there’s an unwritten law that we may never photograph this fleeting time of ethereal beauty. And above all, I’m saddened that people truly think it is okay, to talk to ANYBODY, the way they so freely talked about me—In person, or behind a keyboard. While this is not a reflection of @thebump - it is a crystal lake reflection of how divided we as mothers have become when we continue to sexualize this normal and necessary act of survival.
It was then that Jacob— fiancée, father of our child, and as it goes- my main breastfeeding photographer, asked me what I wanted to do about it.
Then it hit me, like a snowball to the face: that this was NOT, in anyway, my fault.
That by sharing a photo of me breastfeeding, I wasn’t asking for it. Its like saying that by wearing a short skirt, I’m giving you my consent to reach up and have a feel.
And how utterly corrosive, this type of thinking is. Like a cancer. The solution? Simple.
I choose to believe the solution is Participating in Normalizing breastfeeding. Whether it is supporting other moms and their different journeys with an open mind, or participating by holding my head up proud choosing to breastfeed without shame. #imback"