To any mom who is struggling to breastfeed, I hope this can bring you some peace. With my first, I had no problems. I honestly didn’t understand how people struggled to breastfeed. But with my second? I understand. The first three months were quite literally the hardest months of my life. I dealt with excruciating pain. I got mastitis and a kiwi sized clogged duct at 10 days postpartum. He had a terrible latch. I would spend over an hour at times trying to get him to stay latched without screaming. He struggled to gain weight. In this picture, he had been admitted to the hospital for failure to thrive. I about lost it that night - and I’m so grateful the attending pediatrician showed me compassion that night and told me to stop triple feeding (which just about sent me into a sleep deprived crazy state) and to just feed my baby. I dealt with a pediatrician who, although well-meaning, gave me bad advice which set us on a path that could have been avoided. I’m grateful for the IBCLC who stood by me every step of the way and helped me accomplish my goals. Oliver had terrible reflux which resulted in poor weight gain. We had to do weighed feedings and weight checks frequently. I would get so much anxiety at weight checks that I eventually had to just send my husband. I used donor milk, and I’m forever grateful for that sweet mama. Despite it all... it eventually got better. Oliver started latching better. His reflux improved. His weight gradually rose. I stopped doing a weighed feed every time he ate, and the weight checks eventually stopped. And today, as I nursed Oliver at the age of two, I couldn’t help but feel emotional of how far we have come. If you are struggling, I want you to know that no bad day or month lasts forever. If you stop breastfeeding today, in six months, or in two years, remember this: you are not a failure. Being a mom is hard. Breastfeeding can be, quite honestly, heart breaking. But just remember - no matter how your breastfeeding journey goes, your baby loves you. I made it through because of the support of others. I’m trying to do my part to be that person to others. Will you, too?