#breakthevow

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Our friend Anthony, author of The Human Zoo, just described Odd Man Out as "brain porn... in a good way." Oh and he said the writing is reminiscent of Alain de Botton.
Feeling excited about sharing this message... (oh and I'm hoping the guy in the background finds out about it too.) 🌍🔥💃🏻⚡️🤓😍😬🕺🏻📚📚📚💫 #oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #buythebook #hooray

Of all the things love should do. Love shouldn't #captionthis #breakthevow #relationshipgoals #movies #motivationmonday

There's nothing like talking to a man that has talked to God. The strongest men I've came across are the softest men. Not in a sense of being feminine but in a sense that they are able to get in touch with their own vulnerability. Hence creating a balance of the divine feminine and masculine energy. My King, I am your shoulders to cry on, I listen, and will help you to get up.
💜🙏🙌
@odd_man_out_book - YOUR VULNERABILITY ISN'T WEAKNESS. IT IS STRENGTH.⠀
--⠀
Men have had so little practice at expressing their emotions, we don't really know what to do.⠀

We're locked up, emotionally cut off and carrying a deep pain that slowly eats away at us. And because we don't know *how* to talk about it, and because we're given so many messages telling us NOT to talk about it—to shut up, put up and man up—we spend our days feeling separate and alone, even when surrounded by people who love us.⠀

Then one day, we quietly take our own lives.⠀

As Prince William said the other day, male suicide is an "appalling stain on our society." We've reached a point where we can't carry on doing what we've been doing because it's literally killing us.⠀

Something's got to give.⠀

WE *HAVE* TO LEARN TO FEEL. ⠀

It's a life or death situation for thousands upon thousands of men—and that includes the men who look like they've got it all together. Too many of us live lives of quiet desperation.⠀

It's time to break the vow. It's time to feel, talk and cry—however awkward, clunky and embarrassing it feels.⠀

When you do this, you will find that what society has been calling "weakness" is really your greatest strength.⠀

So to the women reading this, I want to invite you to really consider this question: Are you willing to let the men in your life feel, talk and cry, even if it's awkward, weird and uncomfortable?⠀

And to the men reading: Are you willing to take off your mask, let somebody in, and feel, talk and cry? ⠀

As Art Williams said, I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.⠀

It's time to break the vow. ⠀
If this resonates with you, don't just read it: spread the word.⠀

#OddManOutBook #breakthevow #oddmanout

There was a boy in the year above me at school who was pals with my friend's brother. They used to listen to rock 'n' roll on school lunch break. One time I remember laughing as this guy and his mates bopped to the Stray Cats. Later that same week, he hung himself in the loft while listening to an Elvis record. He was 14 years old.⠀

It was so weird; one minute he was jiving on the garage roof and the next minute he was dead.⠀

Everyone was shocked, as they tried to make sense of what had happened in the playground:⠀

"Such a tragic loss."⠀
"He was so young."⠀
"He seemed so happy."⠀
"What a waste of life."⠀

But it wasn’t long before the dust awkwardly settled and his name was never mentioned again. It was like the boy who had ended his life had moved to another planet. ⠀

Sadly, nobody had the nerve to stick around long enough to ask the important questions that would take the conversation deeper, questions like:⠀

What was happening in this boy's life beyond the painted smile?⠀
What was he really feeling on the inside?⠀
What was he forbidden from expressing?⠀

Here’s the thing: around 95% of people who commit suicide are experiencing some kind of depression at the time of their suicide – an illness which I believe is brought about by the loneliness that comes with upholding the vow of male silence. ⠀

Boys, like men, need a space to talk and to express their emotions. We're quick to attribute male youth suicide to bullying, exam pressure or peer pressure but relatively few of us are addressing the issue that boys have very few spaces available to talk about what's really happening for them. ⠀

As a result, male suicide is running rampant – it is the third leading cause of death in youth aged 10 to 24 – around 80% of those deaths are by males. This is an issue that we can't continue to ignore, because closing our eyes won’t make the problem go away. Three or more boys will take their own lives today.⠀
--⠀
It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #mindfulness #wakeup #suicideawareness #brotherhood #omerta #mentalillness #calmzone#mensmentalhealth #maledepression#anxiety #vulnerability #realmencry#allm

Because we have an intolerance for pain and like things to be easy, when it comes to doing the work we need to do to heal our wounds, we like to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. ⠀

But healing doesn't work like that.⠀

You've spent years—decades, probably—living under omerta, the vow of male silence. I'm sorry bro, but you don't get to just break it once and live happily ever after. This is not a Disney film. It's your life: messy, awkward and probably in dire need of an overhaul.⠀

When you break the vow of male silence, you enter a process of unlearning a whole way of thinking and behaving that you thought was 'normal' but which was really insane.⠀

As long as you attempt to remain in control, your old worn-out beliefs about yourself as a man, others and the world will continue to dominate your life.⠀

The good news is that the more you practice breaking the vow of male silence, the more you adapt to this new way of living. Exercising the vulnerability muscle is never easy, but the more you do it, the more you learn to trust it. Eventually it becomes a way of life—a far better life than omerta could ever offer you.⠀

--⠀
It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀ @Regrann from @odd_man_out_book
#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #compassion #curiosity #curious #getreal #risebrotherrise #riseup #suicideawareness #malesuicide #brotherhood #omerta #omertá #mentalillness #calmzone #mensmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #maledepression #anxiety #vulnerable #realmencry #allman #authenticity #honesty #timetotalk #headstogether #divinemasculine #men #masculine #beaman

We're excited to announce that we will be speaking at TEDx Margate on September 19th! The talk is called "Breaking the Vow of Male Silence" and both of us (Nige and @elloaatkinson) will be delivering it. Team A all the way! 🎤👫📓🌍 If you're based in or near London and can make it out to Kent for the day, it's going to be a really stimulating event. The theme of the TEDx is "Think Differently" and that's exactly what we are encouraging people to do about maleness and #masculinity.

Go to @tedxmargate for tickets, and see you in September!

Believe it or not, our fish are called Odd, Man and Out 😂 Seriously... I'm nearly 34 years old and THIS BOOK is one of my proudest creations ever. I do believe as @this_girl_is_enough says that it is NECESSARY. Have you ordered yours? 🌍👬💕 Link in bio 🙏💫

If Omerta (the vow of male silence) was a household cleaner it would kill 99.9% of emotions – dead. Leaving the other 1% to be shared equally between pissed off and shut down. ⠀
--⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #omerta#omertá #boys #raisingboys #mensmentalhealth #maledepression #emotions #feelings #allman #manup #beaman

MOST RECENT

We're excited to announce that we will be speaking at TEDx Margate on September 19th! The talk is called "Breaking the Vow of Male Silence" and both of us (Nige and @elloaatkinson) will be delivering it. Team A all the way! 🎤👫📓🌍 If you're based in or near London and can make it out to Kent for the day, it's going to be a really stimulating event. The theme of the TEDx is "Think Differently" and that's exactly what we are encouraging people to do about maleness and #masculinity.

Go to @tedxmargate for tickets, and see you in September!

If we are to truly break the vow of male silence for good then all genders need to find the courage and compassion to come together, talk honestly about our part in upholding the vow of male silence and grieve our pain and losses. Then, we will we understand that we are not that different after all – that women are from earth and men are from earth too. ⠀
--⠀

To get a copy of the groundbreaking new book Odd Man Out: Breaking the Vow of Male Silence head over to breakthevow.com ⠀
--⠀

It’s time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀
--⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #mask#archetype #book #reading #mindfulness #wakeup #positivity#suicideawareness #brotherhood #omerta#omertá #mentalillness #calmzone#mensmentalhealth #maledepression#anxiety #vulnerability #realmencry#allman #authenticity #honesty #timetotalk#headstogether #divinemasculine#beaman#feminism #feminist #thirdwavefeminism

Here's an excerpt from Odd Man Out: Breaking the Vow of Male Silence- chapter 17: Your Dad, forgiveness and you.⠀
--⠀

“Like it or not, you are connected to your father, and every ancestor that came before him. You are part of a great lineage going back generation upon generation, and every fuck up and triumph and loss they went through. Each generation is gifted (although it may come disguised in wolf’s clothing) to expose and eventually heal your pain. Your pain is yours, yes; yet your pain is intimately connected to the pain of your father and all the fathers who came before him.”⠀
--⠀

To get a copy of this groundbreaking new book head over to breakthevow.com⠀
-- ⠀

It’s time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow l#mindfulness #wake up #positivity#suicideawareness #brotherhood#omerta#omertá#vulnerability#realmencry#divinemasculine#beaman#consciousparenting#dadlife#family#letthembelittle#fatherhood#dadsofinstagram#love#fathers#dads#dad#father#fatherandson

‘Everyone is fighting a hard internal battle. In a world where we are drowning in the relentless need to portray our picture perfect lives on social media, very few of us are disclosing this battle, but that doesn’t mean it’s not happening.’⠀
==⠀

Got your copy of the book yet? Go to breakthevow.com⠀
==⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word. ⠀
--⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #mindfulness #wakeup #suicideawareness #brotherhood #omerta #mentalillness #calmzone#mensmentalhealth #maledepression#anxiety #vulnerability #realmencry#allman#malesuicide#chesterbennington#linkinpark

Here's what Nic Romano had to say about Odd Man Out... 'This book is so powerful: it's like eating a seven course banquet. You have to pause regularly to digest it.'⠀

--⠀

To grab a copy of this groundbreaking new book head over to breakthevow.com.⠀

--⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word. ⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #mask#archetype #book #reading#mindfulness #wakeup #positivity#suicideawareness #brotherhood #omerta#omertá #mentalillness #calmzone#mensmentalhealth #maledepression#anxiety #vulnerability #realmencry#allman #authenticity #honesty #timetotalk#headstogether #divinemasculine#beaman#acim#acol

Great post - check out Nige's book #oddmanoutbook Repost from @odd_man_out_book using @RepostRegramApp - I am deeply saddened by Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington’s suicide. ⠀

One thing Chester’s death highlights is that things can often look okay on the outside even when they are not on the inside.⠀

Chester’s death communicates something critical about what it is like to be a man today. The vow of male silence makes it virtually impossible for us men to communicate our struggle. For some men, our suffering is so buried that the people closest to us aren't aware of it. Sometimes, we are not even aware of it ourselves. ⠀

For too many men, death by suicide is in some way preferable to breaking the vow of male silence and talking about our pain, because we fear being misunderstood and perceived as weak or less of a man, our suffering brushed aside by people too busy to notice that we are actually desperate. ⠀

Incidentally, Chester wasn’t the only man to take his life yesterday. In the USA an average of 85 men kill themselves every day. Many if not most of these suicides are a complete shock to their family and friends because on the outside everything appears okay. ⠀

So, if you are struggling today, or close to the edge, don’t lose hope, take a risk, reach out and call the Samaritans because your heart matters bro. ⠀

And to anyone coping with the loss of a loved one through suicide, including Chester’s family and friends, we are sending all our love to you at this time of utter heartbreak and devastation. There are no words that can comfort you right now, so simply know that the hearts of millions are with you. ⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word. ⠀
--⠀
#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #mindfulness #wakeup #suicideawareness #brotherhood #omerta #mentalillness #calmzone#mensmentalhealth #maledepression#anxiety #vulnerability #realmencry#allman#malesuicide#chesterbennington#linkinpark

Rosseau wrote these words in 1762. When I look around at other men I feel the collective weight of the vow of male silence – the chains of societal, familial, roles and reponsibilities that men are excepted to live up to, rules that require men to sacrifice their full humanity. ⠀

A man bound by metaphorical chains lives his life in chronic fear, his range of emotional expression severely restricted: if most men’s emotional range was a colour, it would probably be grey. ⠀

The price men pay is huge – he will go through his days pretending that everything is okay when it probably isn’t. This probably explains why friends and family are so shocked when a man takes his own life. ⠀

The only way to break free of the chains that bind is to repeatedly break the vow of male silence over and over again. That way you will re-experience the freedom that was always there just waiting to be remembered and reclaimed. ⠀
--⠀

To buy a copy of the groundbreaking book Odd Man Out: Breaking the Vow of Male Silence visit breakthevow.com⠀
--⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word. ⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #mask#archetype #book #reading#mindfulness #wakeup #positivity#suicideawareness #brotherhood #omerta#omertá #mentalillness #calmzone#mensmentalhealth #maledepression#anxiety #vulnerability #realmencry#allman #authenticity #honesty #timetotalk#headstogether #divinemasculine#beaman#acim#acol#brenebrown

I am deeply saddened by Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington’s suicide. ⠀

One thing Chester’s death highlights is that things can often look okay on the outside even when they are not on the inside.⠀

Chester’s death communicates something critical about what it is like to be a man today. The vow of male silence makes it virtually impossible for us men to communicate our struggle. For some men, our suffering is so buried that the people closest to us aren't aware of it. Sometimes, we are not even aware of it ourselves. ⠀

For too many men, death by suicide is in some way preferable to breaking the vow of male silence and talking about our pain, because we fear being misunderstood and perceived as weak or less of a man, our suffering brushed aside by people too busy to notice that we are actually desperate. ⠀

Incidentally, Chester wasn’t the only man to take his life yesterday. In the USA an average of 85 men kill themselves every day. Many if not most of these suicides are a complete shock to their family and friends because on the outside everything appears okay. ⠀

So, if you are struggling today, or close to the edge, don’t lose hope, take a risk, reach out and call the Samaritans because your heart matters bro. ⠀

And to anyone coping with the loss of a loved one through suicide, including Chester’s family and friends, we are sending all our love to you at this time of utter heartbreak and devastation. There are no words that can comfort you right now, so simply know that the hearts of millions are with you. ⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word. ⠀
--⠀
#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #mindfulness #wakeup #suicideawareness #brotherhood #omerta #mentalillness #calmzone#mensmentalhealth #maledepression#anxiety #vulnerability #realmencry#allman#malesuicide#chesterbennington#linkinpark

Just recorded and published a new episode of the Academy of Miracles podcast for the first time in ages. Like, 7 months kind of ages. I'd love you to take a listen as I share a bit about how my work is evolving. ❤️🙏🌍📓👫💕 #shepodcasts #podcast #podcasts #podcasting #tunein #listenup #masculinity #breakthevow #oddmanoutbook

Myth: if you're in touch with the "softer" emotions, you become "weak" - and as @brenebrown found in her research, weakness is the #1 shame trigger for men.
The truth is that you don't lose anything by allowing yourself to be #vulnerable - in fact you only regain your FULL #humanity.
Proof? An hour before this workout, I was in tears, allowing my wife @elloaatkinson to hold me in our living room.
As Sam Keen says, the path to a manly heart runs through a valley of tears. I'm not afraid of my vulnerability. Sure, it's uncomfortable, but as a natural #bodybuilder, I know he value of discomfort. That's where the #growth is.
So here's to strength AND softness: to allowing ourselves to be fully human and fully alive, not stuck in some #manbox
It's time to #breakthevow of #male silence.
Spread the word. --
#masculinity #manup #oddmanoutbook

We blokes don’t exactly love sharing about our inner struggles. No wonder: it's uncomfortable and awkward, and we don't exactly get lessons at school on emotional intelligence (although perhaps we should!).⠀

Here’s the thing though: if we don’t voice the darker parts of our mind then we numb our capacity to experience the 'light' side of life - joy, connection and intimacy, for example.⠀

I want to be fully alive, not just to exist. I refuse to settle and I don't think you should settle either. If we're going to experience the full rainbow of human emotions, we have to be willing to get uncomfortable *emotionally*, not just physically when we're in the gym or on the playing field.⠀
--⠀

To grab a copy of the 'gritty, hearfelt and inspiring' new book Odd Man Out: Breaking the Vow of Male Silence head over to breakthevow.com⠀
--⠀

It’s time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀

#vulnerable #vulnerability #daringgreatly #rising strong #brenebrown #masculinity # oddmanoutbook # realmenfeel #breakthevow #feelings

We men equate being busy with success when in truth it is anything but. The knock on effect of busyness is barrenness – we disengage from the natural rhythm of life.⠀

Breaking the vow of male silence involves making time to be with yourself – to listen to the dictates of the heart. ⠀

To accomplish this we must deliberately choose to simplify our lives, and practise conscious solitude. Even 5 minutes will make a difference.⠀

Do it now. ⠀
--⠀

To buy a copy of the groundbreaking new book Odd Man Out :Breaking the Vow of Male Silence visit breakthevow.com⠀
--⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow #mask#archetype #book #reading#mindfulness #wakeup #positivity#suicideawareness #brotherhood #omerta#omertá #mentalillness #calmzone#mensmentalhealth #maledepression#anxiety #vulnerability #realmencry#allman #authenticity #honesty #timetotalk#headstogether #divinemasculine#beaman#acim#acol

"Whatever is wrong in the world is in myself - learn to deal with the shadow and you do something real for the world." - Carl Jung⠀
--⠀

To buy a copy of the groundbreaking new book ODD MAN OUT: Breaking the Vow of Male Silence visit breakthevow.com.⠀
--⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀
--⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow l#mindfulness #wake up #positivity#suicideawareness #brotherhood#omerta#omertá#vulnerability#realmencry#divinemasculine#beaman#consciousparenting#motherhood#momlife#dadlife#family#letthembelittle#fatherhood#dadsofinstagram#love

Whenever we tell a boy to stop being a sissy we are subtly giving him the message that his feelings don’t count – that he needs to shut up, put up and man up. But telling a boy to stop being a sissy comes at a hefty price. He will grow up feeling cut off from his emotions - his full humanity. ⠀

On the outside it might look like everything is hunky dory but don’t be fooled by everything you see because there’s a whole other world happening on the inside - a world stuffed with guilt, shame, pain, loneliness and depression. Some men would rather end it than be called a sissy. ⠀

Is this what you want for your boys? ⠀
-- ⠀

To grab a copy of the groundbreaking new book Odd Man Out: Breaking the Vow of Male Silence head over to breakthevow.com⠀
--⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow l#mindfulness #wake up #positivity#suicideawareness #brotherhood#omerta#omertá#vulnerability#realmencry#divinemasculine#beaman#consciousparenting#motherhood#momlife#dadlife#family#letthembelittle#fatherhood#dadsofinstagram#love

So... we launched a podcast yesterday! Deep, raw, sometimes challenging conversations with Nige, Ell and guests about masculinity, integrity, accountability, emotions... all the real stuff.
Tune in via apple podcasts, stitcher or wherever you get your podcasts. 🎧🍏📻 We'd love your ideas for topics, questions, guests etc. 💡💡💡 #podcasts #podcast #hepodcasts #shepodcasts #tunein #listenup #masculine #masculinity #manup #breakthevow #oddmanoutbook #oddmanout #startup #men #realmen #realmenbelike

Statistics show that 3 out of every 4 suicides are committed by men. We appear to live in “a man’s world,” but it’s blatantly obvious that something is wrong when thousands of boys and men are killing themselves each year.⠀
.⠀
This can no longer be what @thegoodmenproject describes as “the conversation no one else is having.” We must #breakthevow of silence and talk about the #taboo that is male suicide It’s time for every man and woman to say NO to the code of masculinity that tells men to “man up.”⠀
--⠀

To buy a copy of the groundbreaking book Odd Man Out: Breaking the Vow of Male Silence head over to breakthevow.com⠀
--⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀
--⠀

#oddmanoutbook #suicideawareness #malesuicide #brotherhood #omerta #omertá #mentalillness #calmzone #mensmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #maledepression #anxiety #vulnerable #realmencry #allman #authenticity #honesty #timetotalk #risebrotherrise #riseup

So, a question for you. Everyone knows what misogyny is – the hatred the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women – but do you know what the opposite is? ⠀
…⠀
…⠀
…⠀
Anyone?⠀

It’s called misandry: the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men, and although it’s hardly spoken about, it’s a real as misogyny. To be honest I think it’s a bit of a prohibited subject. If you don’t believe me go and watch the documentary called THE RED PILL.⠀

Breaking the vow of male silence isn’t just for and about men. Women have a part to play as well. The Odd Man Out movement is about everyone making a deliberate, conscious decision, regardless of gender, to stop any behaviour that upholds hatred and judgement. There’s more than enough of that in the world already. What the world needs now is empathy and connection. ⠀
--⠀

It's time to break the vow of male silence.⠀
Spread the word.⠀

#oddmanoutbook #breakthevow l#mindfulness #wake up #positivity#suicideawareness #brotherhood#omerta#omertá#vulnerability#realmencry#divinemasculine#beaman#consciousparenting#motherhood#momlife#dadlife#family#letthembelittle#fatherhood#dadsofinstagram#love

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