The Love of My Life
Part 36: Becoming a #Monk
I'm going to come clean.
I've looked upon the #renunciates--the #monks--who wear yellow or orange robes, with not so slight amounts of judgment. Especially when I saw a #brahmachari/#brahmacharini (man/woman monk) struggle on worldly stuff; if I see anger, frustrations, or frailty in them, I felt a kind of pity for them: Poor person! They're weak; they're using whatever outward form they can find to keep themselves protected from spiritual falling, repeating #vows before others, wearing monk clothes, running away from all world temptations. Yet one way or another this suppression and internal unbalance comes out for everyone to see!
If anything, the little I did know about renunciation, to willingly give the ego away and let God live through you, sounded an internal thing to me, and things like wearing certain color or repeating vows out loud seemed superficial to me. I'm stronger, more real, than that…
Until a year or so ago that is.
Two years ago I left my life in Los Angeles and came to live in the spiritual community of Ananda Village, where hundreds of devotees of Yogananda live and thousands visit each year to retreat and learn about yoga. Ananda is, for the most part, a household yogi community. But we do have a monastery here, and some monks and nuns among us.
A while after arriving here I received certain guidances that transformed my view of #monkhood. It shifted my understanding of #renunciation as something for others, as service to humanity, rather than for me. This made it aligned with my nature and I came to a realization how it is right and admired for me.
In this blog I have shared with you my experience of a beautiful human love relationship with a beautiful soul. It had to end, however. The pain I endured from that experience led me to inquiry for meaning and purpose of life. With that, the great gurus recognized that I was ready for living the spiritual path.