Don’t even know what I’m doing here, I was just trying to show off my converse as well as my outfit and failing.🤣
Therapy was good today, reminding me of how much progress I’ve made since this time last year but recognising what I still need to work on.
I find it really hard opening up to people and actually connecting with my feelings.
I’m fine talking if I’m making things light hearted or I just make a joke out of what is actually going on, when I shouldn’t have to be afraid of people seeing that other side of me.
I think that’s why I’ve been so anxious lately, because I’ve been bottling a lot up, and I won’t even allow myself to cry even when I’m alone.
If things were reversed though, I’d always want to be there for my friends and I’d be upset if I thought they were hiding their bad days from me.
So part of my homework is to actually reach out to people if I need to talk, and try and lower that barrier. It takes a lot for me to open myself up emotionally to someone though, even family.
It’s like I’ll be giving someone power over me, power that I won’t ever be able to take back, but this is bullshit and is another lie my illness tells me to keep myself isolated.
I need to challenge my rule of if I’m not my bubbly upbeat self that I have to stay away from people.
Struggling is okay, and admitting you’re struggling is okay too.
Loved ones are there to lend you strength, and to believe in you until you’re well enough to believe in yourself again.🌈✨💖 #anorexiarecovery#recoverywarrior#prorecovery#realrecovery#beatinganorexia#bulimiarecovery#bodydysmorphia#depression#eatingdisorderrecovery#edwarrior#believeinyourself#eatingdisorderawareness#edrecovery#recoveryisworthit#nevergiveup#mentalhealth#selfacceptance#recoveryispossible#mentallillness#edfamily#gainingweightiscool#edcommunity#recovery#edfighter#anxiety#bdd#socialanxiety#bodydysmorphicdisorder#anarecovery#bddrecovery