‼️this caption is a repost of one of my older posts‼️
The thing that I used to edit out in my photos the most was my undereye bags. ✨Since I was a kid, I've had these little wrinkles under my eyes, and have always hated them. Back in September when I started Body Dysmorphic Disorder treatment, I had to identify the top 3 things about my face that caused me significant distress. These little lines followed by that not-so-subtle indentation under my eyes were the first things that I said. ✨In treatment for BDD, you do something called mirror retraining. Your therapist has you look at yourself in the mirror and describe what you see objectively, as if you were describing someone who you saw commit a crime to a detective. Medium-thick eyebrows, blue/green eyes, some dark circles, a deviated septum, thin lips. One pimple, light brown hair, medium sized ears. Could you describe yourself like that? Or are you more likely to say "huge under eye bags, crooked nose, lips that are too thin, and a huge zit"?
✨After scanning my entire face down to my neck, which takes a few minutes to describe all of the aspects, I would have to close my eyes for 10 seconds, open them, and do the whole thing over again. It takes a few minutes, and I generally would see the same face as before. After that scan, I have to close my eyes again..
✨YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR A 3RD TIME!✨ Something magical happens this time. I see my face differently than the prior scans. My eye bags are less prominent, my zit is smaller, my nose appears slightly less crooked, and my lips are a little more thick. What the hell?
✨After a few weeks of completing this 3x/ day for homework, my therapist told me how it works. By the third time around, you actually become so BORED that your emotion and judgment become lesser, and you start to see yourself through the eyes of someone who isn't attaching judgment to every part of you. It amazes me every time I do it, because it always works. As I continue to work through my BDD, I find that the changes between 1st & 3rd scan are much less drastic. Because I have been diligent about recovery, I do not look at my face and emphasize all of the things that make me feel insecure.