Wow what an experience! I was doing so well with yoga, eating right, being much kinder to myself, and woke up to a lot of things. Last night after yoga, i received such a saddening news, i nearly destructed myself into pieces. I felt the clash of destruction and kindness. They were at war. Destruction wanted to just destroy and walking away with it burned into ashes behind them. Kindness and peace stood strong with few wounded shots, and never fell. I cried because it was so easy to feel defeated, i was having such a good day and once the news hit, it was like shit hit the fan and i already halfway to the ground. The peaceful side won before i could do any serious damage. It shocked me that’s how much I’ve been tearing myself apart all those years. I was hurting myself inside and when i didn’t know what to do with the pain, I make others hurt. I have discovered that I can still be kind, loving and hopeful even when things aren’t going well. Destruction is not the answer. Destroying yourself into the flames is not the answer. Accepting the news doesn’t mean i have to beat myself up. It is life. Just yesterday i was admiring how much I’ve been through since my rock bottom to this day. Admiring how I’m still alive. Admiring life. Just yesterday morning. Last night, it had shown me that i still can admire life. Celebrate life for those who have lived and the living. Always be kind, even in midst of a battle, especially yourself.
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