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do you believe in soulmates?🥀

i wasn’t afraid of you losing interest or of the other girls or of the games we played. i didn’t sweep them under the rug; i swept you out from over it. i thought i could force you to feel something when i was falling over on the kitchen floor again and when i couldn’t bear to open my mouth and we sat in silence for a month again and it didn’t matter that you were empty because i knew when you saw me shaking, you’d tend to me like a bruise.
i wasn’t afraid of you not loving me because you already didn't and okay, maybe you did at one time or for one moment or in your own way, but if you really loved me in the way i deserved to be loved, you would have never treated me in this way.
it never really mattered though because i was so happy, i couldn’t see straight, and really what i was the most afraid of wasn’t you not loving me; it was me never finding someone else who i could love this much, who creates this whirlwind within me, this love that radiates through my whole body. you made my heart shake and my knuckles soft and even though i don’t miss you anymore, i still miss the feelings you gave me.
why did you have to go? i hope you’re doing well without me and finding real pleasure and not fucking other girls over, but i know in your emptiness, you don’t know anything different and it just makes me sad to know i wasted so much of my heart on somebody who couldn’t fill the hole back in and now i wonder if this is how emptiness is made to begin with.

if not you, then who?

Which one are you? - follow @skiesjay for more!

- my head hurts how are you? 🌹

⚡'93 V '17⚡

Toy 📸 by @mightymorphinpowerrangerboy

tgif 💫💫💫

“Find someone who loves you well. Someone who never belittles you. Even in the heat of an argument. Someone who is gentle with you, but does not treat you like you are fragile. Someone who knows what you are capable of, and celebrates those pieces of you. Not someone who is intimidated by your strength. Someone who doesn’t make you feel guilty for being flawed. It is not love’s job to punish you. And remember the person you love is just as broken as you are when they fall short. No one is perfect – do not hold them to this standard. Find someone who is patient, forgiving, and apologetic. Someone who practices forgiveness freely and often. Love someone who is humble, kind, and empathetic. Not only with you, but with a beggar on the street, or a stranger in the supermarket. Common courtesy is important. Compassion is important. Kindness is important.”

have you ever been in love?❤️

“I am usually a quiet person, but can also be quite a talker to people I am close with. I love to tell stories, but when I stop talking, I’m closing myself to you. When I spill my thoughts and emotions, it is because I deem you worthy of them, that you’d listen and understand. I was wrong, so I’ll start saying more often that ‘I’m okay’ when you ask if I am, not because I want to fake my feelings, but I just don’t feel the need to explain them to you anymore; I’ll read more books or watch more shows that I love because I have no more stories to tell you; I’ll shut my mouth more because, really, I don’t know what to say to you anymore. I will try to stay, but as my words, surely I will also start fleeting away.”
AM // I’m okay


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