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"When you commit to you and your journey to move from head to heart you will find it's never a straight line down words."
{{Going through change is never easy the roads ahead may feel rough, and unclear paved with cracks and stomps. It takes you down other roads you never knew existed and then the skies are clear and roads are a lot more smooth. Next time around you may feel more prepared for detours that might come your way. Stay focused!}}#knowyourworth #ptsd #overthinking #lgbt #overthinker #peace #bipolardepression #damaged #mentalhealth #anxiety #depressed #venting #ranting #loveyourself #daydreamer #findingyourself #daydreaming #blogger #tranquility #transition #journaling #blog #journey #journalist #gratitude #broken #lonely #introvert #clarity #happiness

Sunday, April 30, 2017 / 11:27pm... The thing about having manic bipolar depression is that you can't always control the violent ups and downs. The ups feel amazing. It's like you've popped an Ecstasy and you're skating across rainbows and shooting lightning bolts out of your hands. Getting shit done, being a productive member of society and doing it all with ease...and for a split second you might actually believe that you were just being dramatic and things weren't actually that bad in the first place......"Things are good! Bad things happen but there's always a silver lining." But then come the downs...They can hit you like a freight train going a million miles an hour and...God, my God it's so hard. You go to bed excited to see the sunlight the next morning but when it shines through your window, you wonder why God had to wake you up...you see the faces of your family members and you feel nothing. You don't care about anything at all. Your job, your finances, responsibilities...All of it, meaningless. You say I love you without meaning it. You smile a convincing smile, but it's almost like the real you is stuck in that dark place we all saw in the movie "Get Out." It's lonely. You're screaming out. But you don't want to be seen. You want to slip away, hoping no one will notice your absence.
I told my family the the other day that I didn't plan to live to see 30 (I didn't tell them that I actually didn't plan to even see 23). Admitting that was hard. Because I had been trying so hard to get better, to be better, to be...To be happy. To be strong. I can't leave. I can't leave them. No I can't leave them. I couldn't do that to them. I couldn't do that to my sister. Get back up.

So I'm here. It's now 12:00am and I'm here, it's officially a new day. And I'm trying again. And I'm going to keep trying. And if anyone out there is reading this and is struggling as well, I want you to keep trying. Look, I get it. I've had the blade to my wrist. I've had the pills in hand. But no matter how lonely you may be feeling in this moment, you can't leave. Because you'll be robbing yourself of so many beautiful moments to come. #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #bipolardepression

Today I wanted to talk a little about what it's like having borderline personality disorder. I talk about my bipolar quite a lot but don't talk about bpd.
Basically I posted about bpd on here and someone told me I couldn't have both bipolar and bpd. They were wrong its actually quite common to have both.
So with my bipolar I experience extreme mood swings of feeling high and low. I get this with bpd as well but with bpd I usually have a trigger and the mood swings tend to be shorter and more changeable.
I struggle with attachment and I lack social skills. I take offence really easily and become paranoid which is why I take great offence to people reporting me.
Bpd is all about emotional instability. So I struggle to manage my emotions in a healthy way which is why I turn to my eating disorder and in the past self harm. I struggle to identify with how I'm feeling and feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. So if I'm angry sad happy I don't know how to handle it and turn to food as a way to cope.
I'm also impulsive and often just act on a urge rather than thinking things through and thinking about the consequences.
I struggle with relationships and I find friendships really difficult. I've never had a romantic relationship either as I don't understand them .
I also fly off the handle at the least little thing but I've learned to identify triggers and I'm actually better at controlling my anger so now if I feel myself getting angry I remove myself from the situation walking helps me massively.
I get confused sometimes which is my bipolar and which is bpd as they both can be very similar.
It's hard living with both bpd and #bipolar really hard but I'm not alone
Having bpd doesn't make you a bad person nor does it mean you have a bad personality.
There is so much stigma attached to bpd and it's not talked about enough.
#bipolardepression #bpdproblems #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

Mental health is such a tricky thing. People say be honest, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t believe them! There is still a real stigma to it. People will hold it against you and use it against you. This is unfortunate. For those who don’t understand,they will believe the minor event that triggered your past trauma not resolved, is what needs to be dealt with. We all suffer but if you have been upfront about your mental illness, you won’t be able to show emotion or suffer in public without people wanting to have you take leave, seek peace (because if that worked you would) or stop being a victim. My heart goes out to all who suffer- and it really is in silence that you must!

One of my biggest problems has always been admitting that I need help. For a very long time I have been combating my mental illness on my own, and trying to convince myself that I'm ok. But I wasn't. Finally I went got some help and it turns out that I'm bipolar. I can't let that stop me from being a better person for my family. And that's all I want. #bipolar #bipolardepression #lifewillgetbetter

Meet A'Driane Nieves (@addyeb_art), who has bipolar disorder.
If A'Driane could talk to her younger self, she'd tell herself: "You aren't 'crazy'. There's a name for this, and treatment that works. As difficult as it will get, living with this will not be the end of you. You will thrive, so don't give up."

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness month. I choose to STAY because of my family. #staywear #noteasy #bipolardepression @beege7578 @clarkabode @daninlee @braydonsgardner @baileyraehall

Simple EKG Can Determine Whether Patient Has Depression or Bipolar Disorder

Full article at http://neurosciencenews.com/ekg-depression-bipolar-7991/

A groundbreaking Loyola Medicine study suggests that a simple 15-minute electrocardiogram could help a physician determine whether a patient has major depression or bipolar disorder.

The research is in World Journal of Biological Psychiatry.. (full access paywall)

#ekg #heartrate #neuroscience #psychology #psychiatry #science #depression #bipolar #bipolardisorder #bipolardepression

✨🌸 The last month has been pretty rough for me. And I've just been trying to keep my head above water. I tried Kratom last week for the first time and it's already been so helpful. I'm slowly starting to get better and it's nice to be able to breathe again. I hope everyone has been doing well and is staying stoned💚 I've missed you all and will hopefully be more active here soon! 🌸✨ #highsociety #staylifted #recovery #schizoaffective #bipolardepression


Few things as comforting and delicious as homemade dark chocolate pudding. #talesfrommykitchen #reallydifficultday #mentalhealth #bipolardepression #depression #bipolar

Have a happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. Just here to say- It’s okay if holidays are hard for you. It’s okay if you have triggers related to holidays. It’s okay if you need to walk away from the hustle and bustle for a while. It’s okay if you can’t eat much. It’s okay if you don’t want to be where you are tomorrow. It’s okay if you need to leave a situation that feels unstable or unhealthy to your mental status. It’s okay if you don’t get out of bed tomorrow. It’s okay if you fall asleep on the couch before the turkey is even served. It’s okay if you don’t feel like talking to your relatives. It’s okay if you’re not up for traveling. It’s okay if you need to eat and run. It’s okay if you feel bad. It’s okay if you’re worried about being around a group of people. It’s okay if you are anxious. It’s okay if you have to deploy every coping mechanism you have. It’s okay if your coping mechanisms fail and you have to hide away somewhere. It’s okay if you can’t do small talk. It’s okay if you have to depend on klonopin to make it through. It’s okay if you need to avoid certain people. It’s okay. Holidays aren’t mandatory, but self care is. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself tomorrow. #happythanksgiving

[Mental Health Tip]
Listen: on my current journey of creating a fulfilling life, I actively, as well as, constantly seek to surround myself with motivation and inspiration at all levels of my life. I do not just think about curating my Instagram page, but I am actively creating my Instagram feed, as well as, other social media feeds.
I believe that we must become aware of what messages we are feeding ourselves on a daily basis. We must take a moment to think about how, what and who we interact with influences the messages that we incorporate into our personal narrative. We must be mindful and kind with ourself while we navigate the messages that impact our decisions. **
So, what are you consuming and are your feeding yourself adequately? Let me know down in the comments who you follow that offers you inspiration and guidance on your current journey. As well as, your thoughts regarding this topic.
#mentalhealth #mentalillness #dailytips #mentalhealthtips #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthmatters #selflove #selfcare #mindfulness #blackmentalhealth #blackwomen #blackmentalhealthmatters #copingskills #positivity #positivevibes #positiveenergy #levelup #goodvibesonly #breakingthestigma #battlingdepression #bipolardisorder #bipolardepression #fighting #wednesday #wordsofwisdom #wordsmatter #surviving #wellness #thoughtsbecomethings #awareness

Let’s stop interchanging “depression” and “sadness.” Depression IS sad. People who have it can FEEL sad (although some rather feel numbness). But depression as a mental illness is not sadness.
The word “depressed” provides many definitions. At some point, a distinction was made between depressed meaning “lesser abled” and “gloomy.” When we are depressed, our whole body is depressed. Every part of us is working in a depressed state. Our energy level is depressed. Our drive and determination is depressed. Our interests are depressed. Our appetite is depressed. Our cognitive function is depressed. And yes, our emotions are depressed.
Can depressed be interchanged with sadness? Sure. Right now, this is a very popular colloquialism. Is it offensive to those with mental illness? Maybe. I can’t speak for every mental ill person. Should we be working to provide a clear and proper distinction? Yes. Regardless of how you use this word, please be aware of the difference. Depression does include sadness. But that is only a small fraction of what it really is. How does depression affect you? Does it bother your to hear people use the word depressed in this way?

👆🏻Despite how you feel or how others may make you feel, you do not need to be "fixed". <>
When you're dealing with something like a mental illness, you feel like there's something wrong with you; I speak from experience. You think of all the things that you've done wrong, mistakes you've made, and you constantly wish you didn't have to "be like this". I get it. I've been there. I've felt that. And it's so self-sabotaging. Thing is, in the moment we don't realize how much damage it actually causes. Not just to ourselves, but it highly effects our caregivers and loved ones around us.
It took a very long time for me to understand that this is just me. It's what makes me, me. You aren't defined by your illness. It's just a small part of you.
Don't get me wrong, I certainly still have moments of self-doubt and insecurities with my anxiety and depression. To the point of asking myself, "why am I like this?" But I try to remember that I can either wallow in "why's" and "what if's", OR I can allow the feelings to be with me and not let it throw me off. It's easier said than done, of course, but it does get better. Little by little by you'll notice things don't affect you like they once had, that the thoughts and feelings don't last as long as they once did. Do you know what that means? It means you're growing. You're learning. It means you're deciding not to let it take over your life. It means you've accepted your illness. That you're able to say, "yeah, I have this thing, but fuck off!" 🖕🏻😁
Remember it takes time. There's nothing wrong with you. And you DO NOT need to be fixed.
We can't just snap our fingers.💚

Today, I saw a few anti-psychiatry memes. At first I told myself I didn’t need to react- it would be counterproductive to managing my current mood episode... but I’m not being true to my mission as a mental health advocate if I don’t call this out.

Mental illness is real. Many more people understand this now. However, it is still a widespread belief (often held by neurotypical humans) that it can and should be treated in a natural way- eating healthy, doing yoga, connecting with nature.

I agree that these things are very important (however difficult they may be). What I don’t agree with is this conclusion which is not logically derivative of the actual psychiatric conditions from which we suffer.

NOBODY can dictate whether or not your illness is deserving of medical treatment. How many of these exact people would tell a cancer or heart attack patient that they don’t need meds or treatment for their disease? Sure, there are a few who subscribe to this doctrine, but not nearly as many who speak up against psychiatric care.

I’ve spent my whole life dealing with mental illness, and many who has experienced it even for a short time can vouch for the efficacy of specific treatments tailored to the condition they attempt to treat. Sure, our bodies won’t respond well or the same to every effort- but neither do other illnesses.

Stop perpetuating the stigma of mental illness treatment, and stop damaging the commitment to treatment that so many of us have made. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the correct medicine, years of therapy, and many other regimens. Let us receive our treatment without judgement. And if you disagree with the premise of what I’ve said here, maybe you are on the wrong page. Keep fighting, my fellow mental warriors. Don’t let shaming and discouragement keep you from attempting to live your best life.

This is my Mika 🐾 She’s a Bernese Mountain Dog. She is 9 months old now,
Along with being the funniest character & keeping me on my toes, she is my emotional support animal.
She thinks I saved her, but it is is really her that saved me. ♥️

#bipolar #bipolardisorder #bipolardepression #depression #depressed #sleepless #sleep #seasonalaffectivedisorder #emotionalsupportanimal

Seeing a smile, or hearing a pleasant vocal affect is in no way an indicator of a person’s psychological or physiological mental illness status. Mental illness doesn’t have a facial expression. In fact, most of us are expert actors in this way- a smile, friendly words, laughter- it takes a lot out of us, but it is how we have learned to survive in the public eye, avoiding the shame that the stigma of our condition brings. I won’t elaborate further, because if you follow any other mental health pages it’s likely you’ve seen a post like this... possibly more than once. You can’t always see mental illness. PS I am blonde again.

❤️SWIPE ❤️End the stigma on mental health. End the stigma on Bipolar Depression. To anyone suffering, this too shall pass. Stay strong. #bipolardisorder #bipolardepression #bpd #mentalillness #endthestigma #mentalhealthawareness #sendinglove #ineedlove #itwillbeok #thistooshallpass

Important reminders... #repost via @t.h.e.c.u.l.t - 💙 @spicyfeminists for remembering & giving support to #mentalhealth

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