Ever hear the saying, "man I wish this weather would make up its mind. It's so bipolar?" While that's meant to a joke about the changing of the weather, do you really know what the definition of bipolar is? I didn't really either, even though I've been diagnosed with it for about 9 years (I didn't want to accept the, so I just decided I wasn't having it 😉 - guess how well that's worked for me) According to NIMH - National Institute for Mental Health,
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.
Yes there are times when I can go from one mood to the next with no rhyme or reason, but for me personally the mood I have the most is a numb- no feeling or a depressive mood. I also have times when the racing thoughts in my head drown out the voice of someone talking to me. When I'm cycled up, I either get lots of great ideas that I jump into (and ultimately not finish) or I get extremely irritable over small things. Sometimes I do very impulsive things without care of consequence (like going and getting a tattoo without even bothering to discuss it with my husband) to just on a whim buying an airline ticket to California to go visit and party with my girlfriends and I DON'T fly. And did I mention how funny I am when I'm cycled up?? I think so anyhow at the time ( after I realize I am very sarcastically sharp tongued). When I'm cycled down I generally won't speak unless absolutely necessary. Now that's not to say that there aren't "normal" times in between. There is also alot of exhaustion that comes with bp, it's like fighting a war in your mind, that wears a person out sometimes. So with all of that being said, life sure isn't boring. It's kind of like living in my own little mental roller coaster. 😉 I'm coming to terms with it, and I realize that bipolar is not who I am, it's just what I become sometimes. This is one of the many faces of bipolar. #bipolaraware