I am a delusional artist
making music for me was always an ambition, it was something that had to be accomplished rather than desired, I suppose I could be more ambitious and less lazy when it comes to stepping out of my comfort zone, but I do what needs to be done.
the first instrument I came across was a recorder (plastic 4 piece flute) in 1989 in 3rd grade. At that time I was just like any other 80’s kid infatuated with Michael Jackson. I had no desired to play a specific instrument at the time, I just knew that I needed to make music. I didn’t acquire a guitar till I was in 9th grade, which was an acoustic guitar. I wanted to start a band with my best friend at the time and I wanted to play guitar, he got one first and so it was a must I play bass. My dumb ass used to try to play that acoustic like a bass guitar.
At first I was content with learning songs that I was familiar with, but then came the unavoidable urge to create my own content and make a statement with my own sounds.
I got a guitar when I was 18, at the time I was into nu metal and skater punk. It wasn’t the best combo to be influenced by, but I knew that I wanted to be in a band.
the funny thing about that was that I recall getting overwhelmed with a feeling of envy when I would go to a battle of the bands show. It was weird, I could barely play an instrument and I could barely sing or write lyrics, but I knew that I wanted to be up on stage in front of a crowd and whatever I would come up with would win the audience over.
that was the beginning of me being a delusional artist.
I’m not afraid of admitting I am a delusional artist with grand delusions, however, I am ashamed of my past ego. being a delusional artist is typical of those being bipolar. It’s a part of the whole manic and hypomanic “Grandiose Delusions”
my depression and ambition to create content convinced me I could win the whole world over and become the next universally accepted house hold name like Michael Jackson, maybe not on that level. But pretty close
but, being that I am only allowed 2,200 characters in a insta post, I’mma have to to be continue the rest of this post for another day