Fruit and flowers ❤
LONG POST COMING...
Just got back from walking 6 miles. I was in a pretty bad mood so it was angry walking. Basically I looked like a cartoon character on a mission... or the hulk 😂 but I swear the walk helped!
Can I be real with you for a minute here? I feel like this needs to be said...
I don't get angry like this very often. Usually it's a dry anger that comes for 5 seconds, and goes away just as quickly. Popcorn anger. But today it was wet anger. And it lingered. Like a relative inviting themself over unannounced, it stayed for hours. And it grew. (Like the blueberry girl from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.)
I think I don't get angry very much because it can be so overwhelming. I can't process it quick enough, so my brain goes into defense mode, like I'm battling depression again. It's like someone is sitting on my chest, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get out and I can't breathe. I feel trapped in the anger like it's quicksand, and I'm drowning in it.
Point is, I don't like feeling angry.
While I walked, I focused on the roots of the problem. Why was I mad? What/Who was I mad at? Have I prayed about it? What started this? What emotion was I covering up with anger? Why was I covering it up?
The negativity I felt towards myself; could I say those things I've thought about myself about my identical twin? The answer is no. And would God be okay with it? Also no. There's a Tumblr post I always think about when I start to have negative thoughts towards myself. In it, God is asking, "What do you mean you don't like yourself? I worked so hard on you." It's stuck with me. I find it very uplifting. The God of the galaxies, and night skies, and oceans, and volcanoes, and flowers thought I needed to be here too at this very moment.
So basically I feel much better now that I got my walk in. 😊
If you're feeling a negative emotion like sadness or anger, or anything negative about yourself, I've found that the best way to overcome it is to confront it, talk through it, and to do some sort of physical activity. And if you are of faith, I find prayer to be very comforting too.
Thanks for reading. Have a good night ❤