❗️the following story is true❗️
1 year ago, I sat in my new OP therapist's office after discharging from my ED treatment center. She was 1 of 6 therapists in a 20 mile radius who took my insurance & also "treated EDs". (She specialized in depression) If things didn't work out with her, I'd have to give up living in Chicago and move in with my parents 2,000 miles away, as paying out of pocket for treatment was out of the question. ••
There was so much pressure to like her. I tried so hard to be vulnerable with her and trust her with my recovery. But on our 4th appointment, I knew it couldn't work. ••
Her: What makes you the most upset about your body?
Me: All of it. The size. The shape. My weight.
Her: Does it make things harder?
Me: Yes. And I've grown out of most of my clothes.
Her: Wait! Earlier today I was looking at something! *unlocks iPad* This website shows all of the different body types. I want you to pick which one has your qualities.
Me: ... okay. *after a minute or so* I have the pear kind.
Her: No, your hips and shoulders are even. Try again.
Me: .. Apple.
Her: No, try again. Look at your hips and shoulders.
Me: I mean.. I guess hourglass.
Her: Exactly! And everyone wants an hourglass figure! Your hips and shoulders are even.
Me: Not really..
Her: No look. Stand up. *we both stand*
Her: Your dress is so oversized. I need you to pull it taut to your body so I can see the shape.
Me: *hesitates* Um
Her: Just do it, you'll see. *pauses while I pull my dress* See! Hourglass figure.
Me: *after a very long silence* This is making me uncomfortable..
Her: Hm.. okay! Let's google what clothes are best for hourglass shapes.
Me: But my hourglass shape is bigger than I want it to be.
Her: *changes google search to "large hourglass"* You really need to start dressing in what flatters your shape. People would kill for an hourglass body.
I stopped talking at that point. She showed me google image results while my eyes welled up with tears. I checked the time, and we still had 35 minutes left in session. I decided not to talk for the rest of it. I called my treatment center afterwards and we decided I was never going back to her.