here’s a weird thing maybe: i sometimes feel guilty for not wanting the things i feel like i *should* want as a writer. i don’t want to apply for and go to an MFA program. i don’t want to apply for or do writing retreats; the idea of being in a secluded area full of silence and only other creatives is not one that appeals to me. i don’t want to be part of a writing group, and, omg, i did not enjoy workshopping. and, sometimes, i sit and wonder if i’m just being childish, that i should be doing all these things anyway, even if they’re not things i’ve wanted to pursue, because, if i really want to be published and get my work out there, i should be doing all this stuff to make that happen.
... but, then, there’s the part of me that says there’s no one way to do anything, that what matters is to do the work and keep writing and making connections and finding my own way. but, then again, all that seems to have resulted in is ten years of working on a book no one wants to read ... but, then again again, i’m stubborn as hell, and i believe in this goddamn book i made so many shitty decisions for just so i could have the time and space to write and rewrite and rewrite the bloody thing, that’s how much stupid faith i had (have?) in it, and, seriously, the thought of an MFA or a writing retreat or any kind of similar bubble makes me writhe inside, and i keep telling myself, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. it’s okay to want and not want. stop wasting time on these stupid thoughts and launch that food zine of yours already ...
#ajagabel #theensemble #riverheadbooks #bookstagram #wordvomit #writinglife #thereisnorightway #justkeepswimming #dothework #selca #hi #humanbean #behindthegram #mcbeardceramics #latergram #vsco