there is another world, but it is inside this one. Paul Eluard.
Our ride broke down yesterday. Peak hour traffic. Dusk. We waited for the mechanic, while I watched the sky change colour with deep affection. Noting the pair of crows that had followed our car as we had left the city. Thinking to make use of the time, I decided to collect fallen branches for the evening fire from the thick nature strip between the highway. Shrouded by the trees, cutting out the sound, amber flecks of a burning sky lighting up the ground beneath me. I saw and felt Crow before I heard him call. Pay attention, look with your heart. Aware I had entered the hidden realm. I could be in a nature strip, underneath the bed or in your poky closet to get there- it doesn't matter how big or small I will always find the doorway:: The intent of my heart is the key. I spotted the wings first, from afar mistaking it for a piece of black plastic. I immediately understood the afternoon. I never would have found her riding my bike. Bristly fur that smells so sweet, wing tips perfectly preserved. But nothing else to be found. I asked the wing to fly me to the rest, following my feet that took off in the opposite direction, beneath a bush, beneath a pile of decaying leaves, to where the wing and body were reunited. I in awe. By this time, the sky was dim, and though the light was gone from the sky, inside I blazed like a lantern, feeling both grateful that I have learnt how to listen and also desperately longing for the wild. I want a safe place, a sanctuary amongst this city, where I am not needing to find quiet enough to hear spirit in the nature strip. Turning these thoughts over and over in the ride back home, the shadow of Bat swooping alongside the car. Exiting the dream world and landing in this one while hurtling back to my urban cave and fire. The things I am longing for, that I am deeply yearning for, cannot be bought, cannot even be described sometimes. But it's nothing less than homesickness. Today I make tonics for the heart in my studio, tonics for your heart also. The bat medicine continues. Winter allies helping to stoke the fire. Journey well, little one xx