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Another insane recovery 😍 This makes me so proud! 🙌 Be strong & NEVER give up! 💯
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#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #transformation #fitnesslifestyle #fit #girlswholift

🌊This is my beach body, and today, finally I felt so strongly at peace with myself.
I apologized to my younger, sicker self for engaging in dangerous eating disorder behaviors for so long, and for what? To change my body that was already perfect. To slim down my thighs. To tighten my arms and abs. To get rid of any rolls that might work their way onto my body anywhere at anytime. To change my cheeks so they were more gaunt and my jawline razor sharp. None of these things ever fully happened for me. I have always been soft, all over, no matter how hard I tried. No matter how much I starved myself or over-exercised.
Today, I stood in the ocean and actively embraced my body. Consciously thought for one of the first times ever in my life that my body is absolutely right. Absolutely beautiful. Absolutely mine.
I can't describe the euphoria that the acceptance brought me today. I can't describe the overwhelming weight that lifted. I stood in the ocean and let the waves break against my legs, one after another for a long, long time & observed the awesome beauty that is the sea. It's mesmerizing when you really allow yourself to witness it's power.
No two waves are ever the same. They rise and fall constantly, ever changing, always one-of-a-kind. Our bodies are like waves. We are never the same. We live in the constant rise and fall of life.
I just wanted to say I had no idea what recovery would be like. I didn't think I would have anything to think about or do without my ED breathing down my neck and keeping my captive of calorie counting & calorie burning. But every day in recovery I learn something new. I experience myself as I never have before. I am constantly discovering my true self and it is wonderful.
And damnit, this life is SO MUCH MORE than what our bodies LOOK LIKE.
Let yourself be a wave.
☝️Top & bottom by @mimihammer 👙💋!!!

I’m coming up on a major anniversary: my 3 year RECOVERversary. ✨✨✨
9 days from now, to be exact.
It’ll mark the day that I decided to take control of my life, in a way that I had never done before. Accepting the things that I was ashamed of, and recognizing that I couldn't do this alone.
I think that's really what this anniversary is all about: coming to terms with my shame. Understanding it. Giving it a name. Shining a bright light on it, and examining it. Opening myself up to the idea that I'm not the only one with it. Realizing that it doesn't define me.
I am not my shame, and neither are you.
I'm living, breathing proof of that. •
(As always, no filters no fotoshop no facetune no funnybusiness)

This plate is easily in the running for world's best breakfast. I've never enjoyed a meal as much as this plate (maybe because leg day came right before? 🤷🏻‍♀️) Anyway, you're gonna want to make these sweet and savory breakfast tacos ASAP. Two coconut @sietefoods tortillas warmed on the stove. Top both was warm mashed Japanese sweet potato. On the left, I topped it off with @traderjoes guacamole and homegrown tomato slices. On the right, I did peanut butter with @purely_elizabeth coconut cashew grain free granola. This plate is loaded with healthy fats to keep my full and carbs for post workout. Definitely my ideal meal right here!!

Night snack is a #wholechocolatebarparty of @greenandblacks white chocolate and @reesesuk peanut butter cups in white, pieces, crunchy cookie, and honey roasted variety! 😋🥜🍫🍯🍪 lol at how much effort I spent getting all these flavors 👏 ngl so worth it 😍 so I'm still very nervous about weight gain and the party on Sunday and the date tomorrow and I'm just really struggling to feel like part of anything and now school has been delayed a week I feel super alone 😭 I'm trying to focus on recovery but the stuff going on rn had made it so hard :( still a big snack tonight to get me to 3500 though 👊I'm hoping that tomorrow I can wake up with a more positive outlook on it all 🙌 goodnight angels!! ❤️😘 xxx #prorecovery #minniemaud #edfam #ednos #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #anawho #anabitch #anawarrior #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoverywarrior #recoveryarmy #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #eattogrow #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #recoverywin #happypoints

Room is a mess but I'm going on holiday today! Down to a place near Bournemouth and I'm actually quite excited! Just need to buy a bikini now (left it late I know 😅). Anyway I shall keep you all updated on my holiday and I hope that you're all having a lovely day. Keep fighting your demons and striving towards recovery and it will happen. Recovery IS possible ❤
#anawho #prorecovery #positivity #eatittobeatit #recovery #anorexia #ed #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #boobsnotbones #fuckyouana #fuckana #edfam #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edsoldier #ana #beatana #nourishnotpunish #realrecovery #realcovery #healthynothungry #nourishtoflourish #weightrestoreddoesnotmeanfat #selflove

Beating anorexia one bite at a time.
I struggle to let myself eat out and if I do, you'll catch me looking at options for up to an hour or even going to the same 4 shops over and over. Today I had a little freak out, I came back, I got the lunch I WANTED and I enjoyed it. "Big things start with small beginnings"

Einen wunderschönen Samstag ihr lieben ☺️ wie schön ist es bitte, mit Sonnenschein und strahlend blauem Himmel aufzuwachen?! Und dann auch noch frei zu haben und das schöne Wetter nicht vom Büro aus betrachten zu müssen ☺️ Das tolle Wetter habe ich bereits für einen kleinen Spaziergang genutzt; habe Sprachnachrichten und Podcasts gehört. Darauf stehe ich ja derzeit total, vor allem auf die Podcasts von Laura Marlina Seiler @lauramalinaseiler (danke Conny für den Tipp 😘) und Laura Stella @fuerleibundseele . Die Denkanstöße, die die Podcasts geben, wecken in mir für einen Moment eine unheimliche Motivation und Hoffnung. Hört ihr auch Podcast und könnt mir noch weitere empfehlen?
Mein Samstag heute wird recht entspannt ablaufen, mein Freund und ich wollen zwar nochmal zu Ikea und ein bisschen shoppen, aber ansonsten steht nichts groß an. 😊
Wie verbringt ihr denn heute diesen tollen, sonnigen Tag?
Hab auf jeden Fall eine schöne Zeit heute und genießt das Wetter ❤️
#teamhaferbrei #hafermachtsexy #oatmeal #haferbrei #porridge #lieblingsessen #staystrong #sophielottacommunity #frühstück #yummy #breakast #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #recoveryisworthit #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #prorecovery #vegan #vegansofinstagram #food #startyourdayright #healthyfood #gesundessen #instafood #feedfeed #veganfood #healthyeating #fooddiary #balanceiskey #eathealthy

Soft, breakfasty things. I normally wake up hungry and excited for breakfast but right now things are hard because I'm not quite sure what I can have, what will go down comfortably, what I'll be able to actually taste. I just want to be normal again and have my normal breakfast. It's only been three days, but damnit I miss peanut butter toast! Fun story about the Starbucks drink (which I mixed with carbonated water 😍): mom brought it yesterday and my brain immediately freaked out. "HOW DARE SHE! Doesn't she know how sick I am? Doesn't she care?! I'm anorexic- I can't just spontaneously have a drink like that!" I was scared. I was scared that she had 'forgotten' how messed up I was in my head and how physically compromised I was. She had 'forgotten' I was anorexic. But of course she hadn't, no mother ever could, there was something under that fear. What was it? I think it's the fear of the unknown; who am I without my eating disorder? How will I communicate when I am hurt and sad without it? How will I ask for care and compassion while also being a healthy, independent adult? That drink represented so much more because of my eating disorder but the reality of it is that it was just a drink. It was my mom doing something nice for me. And it was another sign that I'm changing my identity away from the sick girl I've been, towards the person I really am. #eatingdisorderrecover #anorexiarecovery #recovery #mentalhealth #edrecovery #health #wellness #prorecovery


Lunch today at Universal Studios was a cheese pizza🍕
Also I just had the nicest tea EVER which I didn't get a photo of but it was cheese and chicken quesadillas which came with beans and rice and oh my god😍 I'll be going back so I'll try get a picture next time!
Had such a good day at universal, we went on lots of things and we will be going back again soon to do everything we missed!
The new King Kong ride was really good and I also love the Jurassic Park ride!🌳
Sorry for the quality of my photos lately, they're not great😂 probably because the food here is so nice I'm just in a rush to eat it😉
Also I just realised OH MY GOD I've just hit 7000 followers!😱
Back when I made this account I remember being amazed about having 100, thank you so much every single one of you for following my journey, I appreciate it more than you'll ever realise 💛

My nephew asked me to draw ✏ him a 'Golden Ticket' 🎫 when he stayed last weekend, so that's what I spent some of my time doing at the beginning of the week. ✌️ Obviously had to add some sparkle ✨ to it, lol! 😏
Gave it to him last night after covering it with sticky back plastic. 👌
Hope he likes it! He got a Wonka costume for his birthday a couple of weeks ago, so he's now got a ticket to go with it! 😊 He's really into Charlie & the Chocolate Factory 🍫 🏭 atm... ordered him a goodie box 📦 online that's filled with Wonka sweeties 🍬 i.e. Forever Lasting Gobstopper, Laffy Taffy, Nerds, etc as well as a Wonka choccy bar 🍫 & a Wonka keyring for his school bag, 🎒 so hopefully they will arrive next week & I can put them in a gold box for him & surprise him. 🎉 🎁
Really enjoyed making this ticket... it's reignited my creative 🎨 side again, so I'm actually pretty thankful he asked me to do it. 💜
Hope you're all having a good weekend! 😘
#GoldenTicket #CharlieandtheChocolateFactory #WillyWonka #Wonka #gold #art #craft #design #sparkles #family #auntieduties #dressup #imagination #health #wellbeing #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #EDawareness #EDcommunity #EDfamily #EDfighter #EDrecovery #EDsoldiers #EDwarrior #recovery #reasonstorecover #staygold

I can't believe I've been inpatient for 60 days already, 8.5 weeks in and I'm still here. I'm still fighting, the illness is still strong...but as long as I'm alive I'll keep fighting back. It's hard spending my summer here, But not as hard as losing my life to this disease.


First attempt at something that looks like an actual meal for dinner. Puréed broccoli, cauliflower & avo, congee, sole, and a little more avocado. Not exactly something I would go serving any house guests, but a good transition towards somewhat normal meals. Followed this up with a smoothie (because obvi!) and I'm now left feeling full, slightly restless, and proud of myself. This process is indeed testing me, but I have not broken [just cried a lot..]#eatingdisorderrecover #anorexiarecovery #recovery #mentalhealth #edrecovery #health #wellness #prorecovery

Tea tonight at 11pm is KFC!!!! I got a big daddy meal!!! Fuck Anorexia 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

#anorexiarecovery #prorecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edsoldier #eatingdisorder #realrecovery #chooserecovery #edfam #anarecovery #strongnotskinny #instafood

Still life with fruit, or afternoon snack? 🤔

Lunch at my uncle's house:
• Broccolis
• Curd cheese

For many of us, food has been a battle with our self-worth.
If we eat "clean" then we're "good" and "pure." If we eat "naughty" foods we're "bad" or "undisciplined." This kind of relationship causes us to vacillate between restricting our diets to an extreme degree in hopes of finding self-worth at the bottom of a bowl of salad, and binging on foods that don't make us feel our best because if we eat one thing that's "bad" our purity is already out the window, right?
A lot of this is tied to our idea that eating "clean" makes us "pure" which makes us "beautiful" (oftentimes the end-all-be-all of success in our society, particularly for women). I used to largely think about food within the context of how it would make me LOOK, which is something I now observe in people all around me. Will this food make me thinner? Will it make me fatter? Leaner? Stronger?
But now I think about how food makes me FEEL. Some foods I choose because I know they make my body feel fueled and energized. Some foods I choose because they make me happy and a have a significant cultural or social value to me. And some foods I even choose because science has shown they support healing from mental illness.
But none of these choices dictate my self-worth anymore. I'm not going to pretend food isn't important, because it plays a HUGE role in our society and connection to others, but it's important in a different way to me now. It's a way to slow down, appreciate nourishment, and show love to my body. 💛

Supper is a cup of fruit and fibre mixed with cheerios, a few salty peanuts to finish the bag and 2 squares of dark chocolate to finish the open bar. ED makes me feel greedy for finishing things, even when that means I've got less than if I wasn't. So irrational so I'm shutting those thoughts out. Arthur and Harry are more keen than me tonight (swipe!). Goodnight all 💕😘😴

Dinner 🍴 was leftovers 🍚. Dessert 🍨 was a dark chocolate 🍫 Belsoy.
Today was a good day. Even though my eating schedule has been quite a mess, I had a good time preparing a surprise party 🎉 for my mom. Also, seeing her and seeing family members I don't see often enough made today worth the messiness in my schedule. I'm feeling super full and I am so scared of gaining weight, but I'm still trying to enjoy the time I get to spend with my family. ❤️ #dinner #vegetarian #rice #thisorhospital #tca #anorexie #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #ana #anawho #anafamily #anarecover #anarecovery #eat #eating #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatittobeatit #ed #edfamily #edfighter #edwarrior #edcommunity #edsolider #edwarrior #foodgasm #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #fearfood

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