#anorexianervosa

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Afternoon snack is a blueberry bagel with mixed berry cream cheese and a soy milk! 😋🥛🍦🍓🧀🍞🍪🍩 don't worry guys just because I'm drinking soy milk doesn't mean I'm inpatient 😂 my mom and I are on better terms but she still picked me a not very nice snack :( I'm on my way to therapist now so I'm going to try to talk about taking control back 💪 have a wonderful afternoon angels!! ❤️😘 xxx #prorecovery #minniemaud #edfam #ednos #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #anawho #anabitch #anawarrior #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoverywarrior #recoveryarmy #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #eattogrow #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #beated #fuckana #happypoints

Last night we celebrated our last school day wuhu🙌🏼🎉 Still can't believe I'm done with school after (all in all) 12 years!! However, first we got our finals next week (5 days straight) and then the oral exams in 3 weeks but after that, I'm officially 100% done with school!! I'll study next year (english and sports) looking forward to it!☺️❤️

Reeeeaaally scary afternoonsnack was a piece of lemon cheesecake (!!!!!) and a lemon ice tea on the side (!!!!). First cheesecake in over 3 years 😱 Damn I missed this 😫 Anorexia said I couldn't take a drink with liquid cals so I took a drink with liquid cals. Anorexia also told me to share a piece of pie and NOT eat a piece all alone so I ate my own piece of pie instead of sharing one. I'm the boss, not anorexia 💪🏻 This still doesn't goes without compensating but I'm working on it and it's already going a lot better!!
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Mum and I took the exact same (goals right 😝) while shopping a bit after my appointment at the ggz which was really helpful like usual (feel the sarcasm 🙄). I'm so lucky to have the sweetest mum in the world who's my best friend at the same time and supports me 24/7. 💗👭
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I'm currently babysitting again on 2 sweet little girls (they make me feel so much better omg they're the best!!). They're sleeping and I'm just here chilling and eating while earning money. 😌 .
Also I survived my exams and I probably graduated (mum already bought balloons today lmao 😂) so I have holidays now 😇
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Have a nice eve honeys 😚

Took me a while to realize it but; I was never going to be enough for my eating disorder. I was already & always enough for the people who truly cared. (Disclaimer: I did remove the mouse ears prior to leaving for work. Bossman may be away but even so I don't think I could quite pull them off as "business casual"). #edfree #edfamily #edrecovery #edsurvivor #anorexia #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #recover #realcovery #recoveryispossible #realrecovery #prorecovery #positiverecovery #edfighter #beatana #beatanorexia #recovery #eatingdisorder #foodisfuel #healthynotskinny #anorexianervosa #minniemaud #homeodynamictreatment

~E stasera vi do anche la buonanotte 🌙 con il mio #nightsnack , probabilmente il mio preferito:
* yogurt 🍦 Alpro alla vaniglia
* Coulis di frutti rossi * Cioccolata 🍫 Venchi con fave di cacao 😍
Oggi è stata una giornata tranquilla, serena, in cui mi sono dedicata a me. Ho capito che ho di nuovo voglia di rimettermi in gioco, ricominciare gli studi, di riprendermi il futuro. E vi giuro che tre mesi fa non avevo la speranza di uscirne, non vedevo la "luce in fondo al tunnel", mentre adesso inizio a pensare che forse non è impossibile. Spero 🤞🏻 che riusciate a crederci anche voi ❣🌙 #anorexianervosa #nightsnack #anoressianervosa #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit #anafamily #anafighter #edfamily #edfighter #edsoldier #anawarrior #anarecovery #edrecovery #recoveryispossible #beatingeatingdisorder #photooftheday #picoftheday #followme #delicious #fooddiary #foodblog #diarioalimentare #foodporn #foodgasm #fuckana #fearfood #fearfoodchallenge #eatittobeatit #anawho

2 scoops of CLOTTED CREAM vanilla ice cream, a solid DAIM chocolate egg, smarties and ana's RED BLOOD CELLS yes that's right, summer fruit POMEGRANATE is back in business - BOOM!! 😝 keep fighting my friends, for ice cream, chocolate and ana's bloodshed. Oh and for unicorns, recover for unicorns 🦄💕 #fearfood #recovery #recovering #recoverywin #edrecovery #2fab4ana #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #realrecovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #anorexiarecovery #beatana #fuckana #anawho #anawarrior #anafighter #anasoldier #edfighter #edsoldier #edfamily #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealthawareness #orthorexia #eatittobeatit #nourishnotpunish #prorecovery

Guten Morgen, meine Lieben🌞 Ich habe heute schulfrei, was meinem Körper jedoch nicht davon abhält mich um 5:50 Uhr⏰ zu wecken😒 Also einmal bis 7:30 Uhr auszuschlafen wäre schonmal cool🌚😬 Kann man wohl nichts machen🤷🏽‍♀️ Ich war schon immer eine Frühaufsteherin😌 Seid ihr eher Nachteule🦉 oder Lerche🕊 (👈🏼 I know: das ist eine Taube😎)?
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Was ihr da oben übrigens seht👆🏼, ist mein zurzeit tägliches Frühstück✨ Jaja, ich weiß, dass der Löffel 🥄 stört, aber hey, dafür, dass ich das Bild vor der Schule (ich glaube sogar vor der 0. Stunde🤔) aufgenommen habe, ist es doch ganz gut geworden😌 Was das Gepampe überhaupt darstellen soll?🌚 Haferflocken, Sojaghurt und eine Banane🍌 sind die "Basis"😎 Manchmal kommen noch ein paar Specials darein, wie z.B. Sojaflocken, zerbröselte Reiswaffeln, Leinsamen oder andere Flocken😊 Aber um ehrlich zu sein esse ich es gerne ganz pur - also nur die drei oben genannten Basiszutaten👩🏽‍🍳 Das wird es dann wahrscheinlich gleich auch wieder geben🤔 Auf jeden Fall muss ich heute noch zwei Bananen🍌 verwehrten, die nämlich schon fast schwarz sind (also wirklich, ich übertreibe nicht🌚😂)
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Ich fahre gleich ins Fitnessstudio🚴🏻‍♀️, um dort meinen Lieblingskurs mitzumachen, den ich gestern leider nicht machen könnte, weil ich so verdammten Muskelkater🐈 hatte😒 Aber dafür war ich ja 3km schwimmen😱🏊🏻‍♀️ und jetzt ist der weg💨 Und der war echt schlimm, also wenn ihr euren Muskelkater🐈 schnell wegbekommen wollt, ist schwimmen🏊🏻‍♀️ auf jeden Fall empfehlenswert🤗 Natürlich bin ich kein Experte und weiß nicht, was dabei im Körper abgeht, aber laut meinen Erfahrungen hilft es😌 Danach habe ich einen Termin mit meiner Betreuerin - wir werden wahrscheinlich spazieren gehen und das schöne Wetter☀️ genießen✨ Danach gibt es Mittagessen (irgendwas mit Kichererbsen, bin momentan wieder richtig süchtig🤤 Habt ihr Ideen 💡, was ich machen könnte?) Und dann muss ich wahrscheinlich noch Hausaufgaben 📚 machen🤷🏽‍♀️ Ich habe heute schon schulfrei, falls ihr euch gefragt habt, wie ich das alles machen kann😅🌚
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Ich wünsche euch allen einen schönen Tag und einen schönen Start in lange Wochenende😎🌞

There hits a point sometimes in life where everything becomes so ridiculous that you just have to fucking laugh.
A lot of things will stop making sense and you will be continuously filled with question. Questions that will probably never be answered. That's ok. Don't dwell on it, laugh at the bullshit and move forward.
In all the shit you're going through, force yourself to go out and laugh. Force yourself to go make memories. Go and hug your friend so enthusiastically that your dress slides away in a tube station. Laugh at the married man trying to get your number. Watch a drunk woman face plant the floor and be glad it wasn't you this time. Remember that sunny Wednesday that you took back control and lived.
Don't hide from the world in the dark times. #realrecovery #recovery #recovering #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edfam #edcommunity #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #boohoofashion #ana #anarecovery #edrecovery #anorexianervosa #prorecovery #recoveryispossible #fuckana #depression #depressed #mentalhealth #summerdress #fighting #prettygirls #anawho #anawarrior #anafighter #anarecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery

#dinner was this challenge😰😻 This time I took a big one, with 8 "soja nuggets" instead of five... So so hard but I did it with some support from the very best @aliciasrecovery ❣️ Ly💛

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Kinda weird breakfast today is rice with a mashed banana, blueberries and cinnamon😂🤔💕
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Tomorrow my mom and I are going to stay at our friend's for a few days and I'm so scared because I absolutely don't know what kind of food I'm going to eat and how much and it scares the hell out of me!😭

25.5.17 | My grandma's got me a little present 💜 Not going to eat the chocolate though. I keep telling her I don't eat white chocolate but she still thinks it's my favourite (it was when I was like.. 6 😂). Didn't tell her this time though because she was so happy giving it to me. And the jam is violet and raspberry jam so... 😍😍 I'm not having the best day ever today. Anxiety is so so high. 😒 and I'm on my own all day, which makes it even harder.
Yesterday in occupational therapy I talked about my England trip and how weirdly anxious it makes me (like, I can't waiiiit and have a massive stomachache just thinking of it all at once. 😂) and I said I would try to take holidays from my ED for that week. Just like I had done 2 years ago, on holiday with my English family. I was almost disorder-free for 10 days, which is the longest time I've been living without using behaviours in the last.... 5 years probably (at least). So yeah. Today, anorexia's a bit loud and bulimia is trying to enter the house as well (it's like a vampire, don't you think? Once you've let it enter once, it can come and go as it pleases. 😒😒) anyway. They'll be making the most of today maybe, because from tomorrow and for the duration of my holiday; they are not invited. 👊🏻 Have a great day everyone. 😊💜 #mentalhealth #mentalillness #anxiety #distortedmirror #dysmorphia #bodyimageissues #ed #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #recovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #fabulousnotfat #staystrong

Nicecream🍌 z masłem orzechowym, mango🍑, jagodami i płatkami jaglanymi👌. Takie lody na śniadanie to ideał😍. Pogoda nadal nie rozpieszcza, a stopa boli jak bolała, więc spróbuję dziś dostać się do jakiegoś lekarza. Boję się, że już na zawsze będę taką kaleką, nic mnie chyba bardziej nie przeraża😐. #edfamily #eatingdisorders #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosa #food #foodporn #healthy #foodisfuel #goodstart #breakfast #nicecream #banana #vegan #fruits #blueberries #mango #peanutbutter #flakes #millet #tasty #delicious #fuckana #edwarrior #anasoldier #edsoldier

Buongiorno!
Oggi #colazione con #pancake torta di mele 🍎 😍 fatto con whey isolate @myproteinit e farina di amaranto, cucchiaino di lievito, cannella, aroma al limone, albumi e acqua! Farcito con yogurt greco mela uvetta e cannella e decorato con burro con sciroppo Sugar free gusto butterscotch.
Mio padre mi ha appena comunicato che sabato devo fare l ultima tappa di una gara a staffetta a Fiumicino! La volevo troppo fare ma non sapevo se ci sarei stata ed erano poi scadute le iscrizioni adesso invece il nostro presidente ha detto che gli servo... speriamo bene... sono 9 km e' vero che sono allenata ma non preparata alla gara.
Oggi mi hanno confermato 8×400 da fare sotto 1'20". Domani scarico 5 km e sarà una pezza perché odio correre prima delle gare in genere per i 10.000 sto ferma anche 2 giorni. Va beh dai sarà per divertimento 😅 anche perché mi si sono rotte tutte le scarpe e ho un borsite notevole 😕

Ora vado ad allenarmi! 💪
Buona giornata 😘
#breakfast #run #running #runner #sport #glutes #runninggirl #runningcommunity #race  #fitnessmotivation #health #fitfamily  #loverunning #instarun #fitness #fit #ed #edfamily #edrecovery #edfighters #recovery #anorexianervosa #anorexia #anarecovery #anafighter #anoressiaitalia #anoressia

Have an appointment today with my community person and I am beyond dreading it. Being weighed and I am convinced I've put on a ton which I cannot cope with yet there saying im at risk of re admission. I don't get how our opinions are so far apart😭 I REALLY hate eating before being weighed but as my appointment isn't till 11 I've been made too. Urgh... I can't do this...

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перекус:
- банан

Morning guys I hope you're all okay this morning 😌💕I've got a day off today and I'm really looking forward to it because I think I'm going shopping with my auntie 🛍I never end up buying anything but it's nice just to go and get out of the house. My sister and I are going up to the horses in a moment to to muck out 🐴 and then my auntie is coming to pick me up 😌 going out is slightly challenging because it means lunch out and that is the second time this week. 🍴 But if it doesn't challenge you it doesn't change you! 💪🏼breakfast this morning is a bowl of rice crispies with almond milk 🌰🍼and a slice of toast🍞 hope you all have a good day 💕

'Partire. Partire davvero. Ma da dove cominciare?' -------------------------------------------- Ciao a tutte, mi presento, sono una ragazza che si è persa.
Ho perso me stessa e non me ne sono neanche accorta.
Dopo la dimissione dall'ospedale credevo di aver toccato il fondo e pensavo di esser pronta per risalire. Credevo di poter spiccare il volo, tuffarmi nel percorso e rinascere.
Invece mi ha inghiottita di nuovo. Sono ricaduta.
Ricaduta con tutte le scarpe dentro ad un vortice senza fine. Iperattività, restrizione, punizione.
Un circolo infinito.
Sono tornata al mio peso più basso con una mente devastata completamente di nuovo. Rabbia incontrollata, attacchi di panico e pianti improvvisi, pensieri che si rincorrono e si annullano, comportamenti ossessivi e disfunzionali.
Mi sono mangiata tutti i piccolissimi progressi che avevo conquistato durante il periodo in ospedale e adesso mi ritrovo con una nuova minaccia di ricovero da parte della mia dottoressa che, delusa dalla mia scarsa volontà, si trova a dover ricorrere nuovamente a questi mezzi estremi per salvarmi la vita.
Ma io non voglio tornare in reparto, non voglio un tubo nel naso che mi alimenti, non voglio il bagno chiuso a chiave dopo i pasti e l'infermiera sentinella in piazza stabile anche mentre mi lavo. Dico no. Dico Basta.
A piccoli passi parte da oggi il mio nuovo percorso verso la vita, sono terrorizzata ma non ho altra scelta, devo volermi bene e devo salvarmi da questa situazione. Seguirò il piano 'Bocconi Amari' Aumentando gradualmente dal mio introito attuale a quello descritto. Ho un'ultima possibilità con la dottoressa per dimostrarle che ne voglio uscire e non posso sprecarla.
Ho deciso di tornare a scrivere qui perché ho bisogno di confrontarmi e parlare con persone che mi comprendano davvero, sfogarmi e sentirmi parte di un gruppo.. una famiglia, credo che mi aiuterà 😊
Voglio ringraziare di cuore @_milk_and_cookies__ e @vivere.ancora che mi hanno pazientemente ascoltata, spronata e motivata.. Se oggi comincia la mia rinascita lo devo anche a voi 💖 e non smetterò mai di dirvi grazie per tutto quello che avete fatto e fate per me. ⬇⬇⬇

Really early breakfast before going into school for a lesson was a weird one... Honey Nut Shreddies mixed with a few Honey Cheerios and Crunchy Nut (we just put them all in the same tub) and whole milk, followed by toast with butter and blackcurrant jam 😋🥜🍯🍞🥄🥛going into school for maths today, only an hour but it is one of my more stressful subjects so I thought I'd challenge myself 🤔then I have my CAMHS appointment this afternoon which I'm actually looking forward to ☺️ Have a nice day you lovely people! ❤️

Now this is what I call a win! Pasta cooked in lots of garlic to keep ana away because let's face it- she's a blood sucking (or happiness sucking) vampire 👻 I also added onions to make her cry, and she was definitely creamed by this creamy mushroom sauce! 🍄 Those might look like regular mushrooms, but they're actually poisonous😁 (Well, poisonous for ana but FAB for me) Then I finished​ this action- packed bowl off with some fresh spinach to turn ana green with envy, because I get to enjoy this on my own! Remember ana? YoU dOn'T liKe PaSta. Just take the lettuce and leave, b*tch! (Lettuce, leaves... unintentional pun there 😉) Goodnight chickas 😴❤

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