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I binge on bacon cus my mom force me to eat but it were my first meal from yesterday. Not eating tomarow cus i am in school.

#anorexia #anatip #ana #fatboy #fatgirl #ana

Going to fast for atlest 24 hour but hopefully 48 wish me luck🙂🌷 #ana #anorexia #anatip #thin #fatgirl #fatboy #skinny #size00

Hopelessness sucks.

It really does.

And eating disorders are really good at making people feel hopeless.

Eating disorders make ya feel like you'll never be the same again...Never be able to do what you loved before you started to struggle.

I just want to let you know that eating disorders are full of crap. They lie. They lie all the time. You can't trust the voice of a disorder that wants to kill you, even though the voice seems true and convincing.

Sometimes I am hesitant to make collages of me now next to me then. I don't want to make my recovery seem like it's just a fitness transformation. My recovery is by no means just a frigging body transformation. The growth I've experienced mentally is the gold in the situation.

I put these two pictures together to show you that I've been so overwhelmed by hopelessness that my entire countenance was depressed. My face, my heart, my everything. Binge eating disorder was killing me. I thought I'd never be well or balanced enough to do what I love (powerlift) ever again. I post this to show that I get it. That I was there. I was so there.

But here I am, doing the thanggg. Things are different, some days take more effort. I have to be careful. But I am free. It is possible.

You can get back to that place of doing what you love, and doing it without chains around your heart.

hey guys. after a lot of thought i've decided i will no longer be using this account. i find that it pulls me backwards with my recovery process and i want to move foreword. Snapping pictures of my food has no longer become something i enjoy because it makes me wonder "is this too much food? will people think i'm eating too much?" and I want to portion out what i believe is a correct portion and not worry what others think. A huge thank you to everyone who's been there for me through every step of the way, and i wish you all a happy and healthy recovery. If you wish to keep in touch, my personal is @ellebrandt 💗💓 #recoveryisworthit

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