The physical changes from my recovery are quite significant. My thighs are thicker, my tummy is softer and my ribs can no longer be counted.
Nevertheless, the most significant change is the one that cannot the seen; the change that took part in my head🙏
I no longer obsess over food and body.
I no longer live as a slave to numbers and self-destructive mental demons.
I no longer suffer.
I am lucky. Many people with eating disorders don't get where I am. They might gain weight yet not feel any improvement mentally. They might never get alarmingly thin and wrongly conclude they aren't "sick enough for recovery". So although I actually am as healthy as I look on the right picture, we can not automatically assume so. Health is not a size, neither is sickness.
Don't get me wrong, reaching a healthy weight is crucial to recovery! My point is, I am not recovered because my thighs touch, I am recovered because thoughts and actions about food and body no longer control my life.
Recovery is hard and uncomfortable in every way, but once you have done it it will turn out to be the best thing you have ever done.
Trust the process.
Trust the future.
Trust that you were put on this earth for more than obsessing over something as unimportant as calories in peanut butter and a pointless number on a stupid scale👊 #realcovery