Yesterday we had to take one of our kids to the vet. She was born on Monday, and was initially fine. She was following us around everywhere. Eating. Snuggling.
2 days ago we started noticing changes in her behavior. She was isolating herself. Not eating. Lethargic. And a lot more vocal than usual.
We took her to the vet yesterday morning. I figured she just had a stomach bug, and needed some meds. She would be back in no time and continue being her cute spunky self.
We received a phone call saying she died an hour after we dropped her off at the vet. It was before the vet even got to see her. No real explanation behind what happened. I suppose it’s a guessing game for a lot of vets. Maybe she was born with a condition. Maybe she contracted an infection. Who knows.
Life has been crazy the past few weeks. We’ve lost a total of 3 goats while we’ve been here, 1 doe and 2 kids. This one is hard to process. She was fine a few days ago. How can this happen, I keep asking myself? Is it something I did wrong? I wish we took her to the vet sooner. She was in my arms right before she passed. It’s just hard to grasp. Within a blink of an eye she was gone. Processing death is foreign to me, yet has become prevalent the past few weeks.
I woke up with a pounding headache from crying myself to sleep.
What is life trying to teach me? What is the significance of their losses? Why does it hurt so bad?
To cherish my time with my loved ones. To love whole heartedly, even though it hurts sometimes. And that you never know what can happen. Some things are out of your hands. And you just need to accept it for what it is. No matter how shitty the circumstances.
To my sweet little girl: I love you so much, and your moms miss you. I wish you were back in my arms. And following me around the house everywhere I go. May you Rest In Peace with Gata and her little girl. 💛 #RIP #LostInTrillium