I have always thought being kind is the most important thing, and I still believe it but that also includes being kind to YOURSELF!!!
Feeling extremely disconnected from my true self of late.
I've always been that person who 9/1O times can fake the smile just to get on with my day & avoid conflict like there's no tomorrow. In turn I tend to sacrifice my own happiness & end up feeling like a big piece of shit living a lie of happiness - I've been called weak, a doormat, having no back bone, soft, too kind, pushover you name it. When I tend to feel these words having meaning & often so intensely I become this fake version of myself where I tell myself 'I don't care' ' be the bigger person' or I just avoid the situation all together. It's often at these times that I also feel like I've lost my sense of self and when that's gone I feel as though I have no leg to stand on.
Today I got outside & really tried to tune in to my inner self and I had a mini epiphany- I find it difficult to stand up for myself but not for what I believe in and today it clicked that a lot of the time I allow myself to be 'used' or 'the doormat' is because I really don't believe in myself or believe what I feel matters to others. I advocate for others to, I encourage positivity & self motivation yet I can't seem to do it for myself.
One thing that's always helped me be one with myself & truly feel connected to the core of who I am is practising grounding, feeling the cold air & just being in nature. I'm trying more often then not to get my crystals out, burn my candles, see, feel & embrace what's around me & have as much me time as possible.
So my message today is to really think deep if you're a bit like me and run away from problems or people who make you feel like shit and ask yourself why? And work on it because you owe it to yourself. ❤️👊🏽