They want to lock me up for being sick.
Last night I was afraid to be alone with my meds and for good reason.
I wasn't supposed to wake up today.
I called the national prevention hotline and they disconnected me twice. My Dr can has called the local police.
I'm afraid to go home in case there are "rescue" waiting.
I don't need rescue, I need convalescence among people that don't make me scream.
I need an adult suicide watch/Austic quiet room I can go to, voluntarily, without paperwork or stress, just to flap and rock and scream and cry and sleep in total darkness until whatever I've just done to my CNS clears itself out.
We don't have healthcare in the country, just profitable #healthscare s
Clap if you believe in living through 30 years with major depressive disorder.
Because I fucking don't. I think it's shit and no one, no matter how beloved, gifted, funny, or what the fuck ever, should have to have lived with this much suffering. And my story isn't even the worst. That only makes me sadder that we can end our lives in all sorts of ways, except a dignified one.