Our first miscarriage was very difficult, but it honestly has not compared to the pain Jordan & I have experienced over the last month 💔💔 Yesterday, I went to the hospital and underwent a D&C. Praise God everything went smoothly, and I am now on the road to recovery. I had the procedure at Methodist Charlton Hospital, the same hospital where Savannah was delivered, by the same doctor 😞😞 That shook me to the core, as I arrived early yesterday morning, at nearly the same time as 3 years ago, when I went into labor with Savannah. This time, we didn't leave the hospital with a baby. And that still weighs heavy on my heart and mind. 😥😥 I am learning that it's ok to not be ok. I am learning just how sufficient the grace of God truly is. I am learning that God can handle my anger, my hurt, my tears, and my questions 😭😭😭 I don't have to pretend like I'm over it. I don't have to pretend like it doesn't still make my heart break, at the thought of never getting to meet and know Joel Silas this side of heaven.
My life is so different than I thought it would be. But it is wonderful. It is perfect. It is redeemed by the gracious and loving hand of Sovereign God. He is in control. He is all-powerful and all-loving. ❤️ He has a wonderful plan for my life, and for the lives of my children, even my two babies that I will never get to hold and rock to sleep. I can rest in knowing that His plan for my life, and for the life of my family is so much better than any plan that I could possibly hope for or dream about.
Jordan and I both feel in our hearts the Lord is leading us towards adoption. We definitely want to wait at least a year, and pray about everything and take this time to heal. But we are excited for what the future holds, and ask that you join us in praying the Lord's will for our family 🙏
Thank you all for your kind words, and your thoughts & prayers. They mean the world to us ❤️ #chspurgeon #miscarriage #redemption #Godsgrace #adoption