I wanted to share this to show that sometimes, recovery isn’t just about fighting relapses. I myself am haunted by specific instances, or memories that rip at my soul. For some reason they’ve been popping up in my head more often but i know who I was, isn’t who I am now. So this is a peak behind the veil. To everybody else, please enjoy this sunset video.
#triggerwarning Story time: This is an absolutely amazing time lapse video of the sunset over the Grand Canyon, more specifically Yavapai Point. This video was taken May 22 2016. TBH: I can’t watch this without feeling filthy and worthless and it’s such an amazing memory I made. I pray none of you ever feel this way.
Me and my GF at the time were working Multi Level Marketing and had a conference in Phoenix so we decided to go to the Grand Canyon too. I wanted to use this trip as a new beginning. I wanted to knock the bullshit off. and enjoy my first trip to the fucking Grand Canyon sober. I wanted to take in all that beauty...clean...and go back home rejuvenated.
Being heavy users at the time, We had a big blow up prior to the trip because I really didn’t feel like trafficking narcotics across multiple state borders just so we can get high (at this point in my life I was struggling with wanting to stop but needing to stay high, and yes I said that right) plus I was just tired of that life. I wanted to be done....but she snuck out while I was sleeping, scored some dope and kept it secret from me till we got to PHX.
And that’s all she wrote. The conference went well and I was a coward. To much of a pussy to say no. The entire ride from PHX to the Grand Canyon we were smoking in the car. The entire time at the Canyon I just wanted to leave. I didn’t fucking care about the stupid Canyon all I wanted to do was get to the hotel and smoke. We decided to catch the sunset...this breathtaking video is the result. And I hate that this is one of many memories that are tainted by my drug use. These memories are my demons.
#recovery #demons #addict #drugs #meth #sober #soberlife #dopelesshopefiend #soberissexy #doingitsober #grandcanyon #dis