Is ignorance bliss? That’s what I’ve been contemplating for the past couple of days.. I’ve been noticing how hard I have been on myself, because of the things I am now aware of that I wasn’t aware of before.
You see, before I started my journey within, and before I became aware of my thoughts and how they affect my life, I was ignorant. Blissful? Maybe not. I was a victim. I played that role so well. Now though, I’m no longer a victim, and what I have come to realize is that I became a judge instead. ..
In my effort to notice and observe my thoughts, control and direct my words, manage my responses, and take full control of my life, I have turned it into a full time job, and if I make a “mistake” by thinking negative thoughts or saying mean things to myself, boy do I punish myself. How? By judging myself. By accusing myself of not practicing what I preach. By setting the bar so high that I make it impossible for me to reach.
In doing that, I find myself feeling like a victim again, only this time that’s not all I am: now I am the victim and the judge, all rolled into one and tucked in the deep dark corners of my mind.
So today, I am deciding to release myself of both roles. Neither one serves me well, so why am I holding on to them? Today, I am not the victim and I am not the judge. I am me. Someone who’s trying her best, and you know what? For now, my best is good enough.
What about you? Are you the victim or the judge, both, or neither?
#hearnoevil #seenoevil #saynoevil #fulldisclosure