This is not a review. I recently discovered Unicorns Killed my Girlfriend, and I wanna chat with you about them. They're a unique blend of hip hop, heavy metal and emo music. This is one of the rare few bands I am "offended" by. Not because they somehow "hurt my feelings" or because they're "too edgy" for me, but because their music exists as an anathema to both good taste and artistry. This music belongs in the same category as exploitation bands like Black Veil Brides and Blood on the Dance Floor; it's designed from the ground up to sell shirts to angst-ridden youth. Despite the metallic elements present in the music, I feel "plastic" is a better description. If there were a sea of both creativity and artistic expression, UKmG would be an island in it. And you can bet there would be a Hot Topic on that island. This music appeals to the lowest common denominator: youth aged 14-18 who see themselves as "outsiders". Those without friends or close companions, those who believe wearing Vans and excessive eyeliner makes them unique. Those who are most likely to consume the most music while demanding the least of it. Bands like UKmG have perfected the quasi-"art" of the exploitation band: they know that so long as they adopt the attitude of the disenfranchised outsider, and write songs about problems those within the age group of 14-18 are likely to experience, they will endear themselves to an ever-refreshing array of fans. As one generation matures, another batch of high schoolers take their place. UKmG have adopted a "fuck the haterz" stance that is clearly indicative of a problem. If your response to criticism is "fuck the haters", you're not improving your art, you're simply being willfully ignorant of your own flaws. This is the sort of "band" that makes me genuinely upset. I could have written a hyperbolic wall of text calling them "fagz" or "ThE wOrSt BaNd EvAr" but UKmG revel in juvenile antics, themes and lyricism, so doing so would not only have made me just as bad as them, but a hypocrite as well. Instead I feel as though I've logically and fairly explained why bands like these are bad for art as a whole. Thank you for reading.