Unless your only goal is to show how superior you are to everyone else, then there really is no point in shaming and humiliating people into taking a certain course of action or following a certain point of view. Conveying the actual, real life benefits of a particular approach or stance is more than sufficient—as opposed to calling people sinful, lazy, or ignorant if they don’t do what you think they should.
In the short term, emotional manipulation and name-calling can certainly inspire people to follow a certain religious point of view, to vote in a certain election, or to become more “racially conscious.” But in the long-term, these tactics don’t effect lasting change. They effect lasting harm.
Shaming people has three likely results:
1. unhealthy dependency upon the one inciting shame
2. continuing the cycle of emotional manipulation or abuse
3. recognizing the manipulation and thus distancing oneself from the manipulator
In *none* of these is anyone actually meaningfully changed in their religion, politics, or activism.
So try sharing beneficial information instead of shaming innocent people—if paving the road to a better world is truly your goal. ’
—from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah

Sometimes all we need is grace, kindness and compassion towards ourselves, plus permission to be emotional. 💛

It’s okay to be sad, confused, frustrated, lost ... it’s not okay to believe you are alone in your journey. It’s not okay to judge your emotions. We all have our bag of sh*t and mom life drama. It’s not always the same situations, but the underling root is that we are doing a lot! And, I’ll leave that at that... because dishing on “a lot” requires a full novel. 💛

Motherhood is hard. Period. As a new mom I wish I spoke to my girlfriends more about the raw emotions that I was feeling. I wish I went to mommy and me classes just so I would not be alone with my thoughts. Older and wiser, I know how important it is to surrounding yourself with a big support system, talking openly to our girlfriends...without fear of judgment. Realizing that it’s more than okay to sometimes NOT feel okay. And, it’s a must to carve out as many meaningful me moments as possible. Hence #MomSundaySpaNight

Many of my me moments include @lovephilosophy products. I’m sure this company isn’t new to you, but if it is, philosophy is a wellbeing beauty brand that believes where there’s hope, there is grace. They have an initiative called hope & grace which represents commitment to support mental health and wellbeing. Mental health issues are one of the greatest challenges women face. Through the initiative, every product sold helps support community-based mental health efforts with financial grants focused on empowering women through the prevention and treatment of related issues. $4.3 million has been donated to-date. So, I’m soaking up that goodness, knowing I’m wrapping myself in positive-inspired ‘amazing grace’ shampoo, bath & shower gel + supporting a do good brand. 🙏💛🙏
COMMENT: Did you / do you open up to your girlfriends about how you are feeling in the day-to-day mom life ? #sharedontshame #mentalhealth #momtruth

Morning minutes, morning pages, morning mourning. I’m so thankful one of my special and sacred spaces is in my backyard. Today is a day for #recovery and #reflection; tomorrow I will #getbacktoit. #writeitout #writersofinstagram #nothingmorebeautiful #sharedontshame #soulhealing #soulbalancing #demonslaying #colorsandshadows #mountainsarecalling

“Be yourself, fill your life with good people, and don't get a big head. It can all be gone tomorrow. “ @mollybsims 💛

Mama, model human, model on the runway and author of some great books 📚. I’ve interviewed lots of moms, and I can tell you we all have very similar dramas, similar desires for the wellness/joy of our family, and even similar dreams for a world where our munchkins are living their best lives.

As mama Molly says, always stay true to you, regardless of where life takes you. Because, kids learn their manners, their words and their sense of self from us. 💛

Support a mama who’s hustling, pick up @mollybsims new book EverydayChic for simple and smart entertaining, organizing and style tips for the busy mom. What I love most about this ray of light model mama and her books, is that Molly keeps it real and gets the #sharedontshame #stopmomshaming messaging I'm SO passionately trying to promote with all my Hustle Like a Mom YouTube videos. #momspiration #mondayquotes #hustlelikeamom

• Link in Bio •
One incident in particular that sticks out to me regarding my own ignorance and lack of experience with Arab culture is when shortly after I arrived in Saudi Arabia, my husband and I were invited to the home of a prominent Saudi family known for their wealth and knowledge of Islam. During the visit, as was customary, I was in the women’s section of the home with the women, and my husband was in the men’s section with the men.

On our way home, we reflected on how much we’d enjoyed the visit. Then my husband asked me, “Did you exchange numbers with his wife?” I told him I didn’t even think to. He said it’s no problem, and he proceeded to text the man and thank him for the visit and conveyed that I would like to keep in touch with his wife. My husband shared in the text to the sheikh my mobile number to pass on to the sheikh’s wife, and asked that the sheikh’s wife contact me with her own number so that the two of us could keep in touch.

My husband never received a reply, and we were never invited back to the family’s home. We later learned that in Saudi culture it was considered very disrespectful to even mention a man’s wife, let alone anything about her mobile number. We also learned that it was considered ‘ayb (very inappropriate and disgraceful) to share your own wife’s number with another man, even if it was to facilitate the two women keeping in touch. It didn’t matter that there was no way to facilitate the two wives keeping in touch except by breaking at least one of these culture codes. What we had done was disgraceful, so our reputation was sullied; we were labeled as “immoral” and we weren’t even given the opportunity to explain ourselves...
— from "Ignorant People Annoy Me Too…But" by #UmmZakiyyah •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
READ FULL BLOG: uzauthor.com/ignorant-people-annoy-me-too-but/ • Link in Bio •

• Link in Bio •
When someone is genuinely ignorant, that’s God’s doing, not theirs. When someone is arrogant and oppressive—with or without ignorance—that’s their own doing, not God's.
So please don’t shame and humiliate your sincere brothers and sisters in humanity just because God has decreed that they still have some life learning to do. Whether they’re sincerely ignorant of Islam or of racial issues, take a step back and consider the fact that it is God who decreed this circumstance for them—and that it is God who placed them in your path.
No, it’s not your job as a Muslim or a Black person to educate every ignorant person who crosses your path. But it’s also not your job to shame and humiliate them either. So when you do choose to give their ignorance time and attention, consider carefully why you prefer shaming over sharing, and humiliating over educating—especially if this is your consistent response.
Statements like, “Educate yourself! It’s 2018! You have no excuse!” help almost no one. But they do humiliate the sincere who really just don’t know.
If a person doesn’t know what they don’t know, they can’t educate themselves. They need help—just like you do when you don’t know something. And even if they are aware of their ignorance, how exactly do they go about educating themselves without our help?
If they go at this alone (as we demand) and inadvertently learn from untrustworthy sources then begin to share what they *think* they’ve learned, then we’ll likely shame and humiliate them for that too. “Keep your ignorance to yourself!” we’ll say.
So what is our goal, really?
Check your heart.
And be careful how you treat God’s servants during your brief time on earth.
We’ll all be called to account for every word and deed we put out into this world. Choose carefully—especially when it’s sincere ignorance we’re addressing, and not arrogance and oppression.
READ FULL BLOG: uzauthor.com/ignorant-people-annoy-me-too-but
• Link in Bio •

#ShareDontShame - Be kind, share the things you love. INCLUDE people in your fandom, teach them things and learn from them. Making someone feel bad for not having been exposed to something doesn’t make them want to be a part of it. #FuckTheCoolKidsClub #DontHate #JustMotivate

Today on Mommy Moments I interviewed @nyplasticsurgeon #drlaradevgan 💋 She is a world-renowned cosmetic surgeon, Proud Momma of 5 babies under the age of 5!! and wife.💋 Like many mamas, somehow she does it all. Today, we talked about managing mamahood, and her new cosmetics line (swipe to get a closer look). Checkout the interview on my Facebook page (link in bio) It's also national compliment day. Tell someone you love they are amazing.💋 I think you’re all amazing and inspiring 💋

#tbt On a cold, cuddles and VERY crazy day in mommyland, (watch my instaStories 😜) I’m feeling proud that I was able to not only make it thru the day, but laugh and flow with each wave. 💛

Kids get sick. Moms adjust. Kids scream. Moms simmer things down. Kids wake up wet. Moms clean it up. Kids are picky eaters. Moms are creative feeders. Kids are a reminder to pause and play. Moms that are wise pause and play. 💛

Today, I wasn’t social here. I wasn’t social at work. I was social with my special little guy, who, is now feeling better. special thanks to the daycare for a last minute driver to get Ilana home and thanks to the babysitter that came at 5pm so that I could finish packing and head out to the airport for tomorrow’s @abc7dc Wellness Wisdom Approved by Moms TV segment. 💛

I very much choose this life. I very much want to be hands on. I very much want to have some (yes not a ton) meaningful work outside the home. I very much like where I am and who I am. 💛💋I very much live for these yummy smiles and rays of light. #mommymoments 💋💛#happyformulalife #hustlelikeamom 💛✨✨
COMMENT: are you living your unique happy formula life? Are you the mom you want to be or the mom you think you need to be? PS I’ve been both 🙏 and choose just to do as my inner guide dictates. No apologies. #sharedontshame

Are you an off-ramping mom, debating when or how to jump back into a career outside the home? 💛
Tune into today’s LIVE, MOMMY MOMENTS with PAMELA, chat with guest @interiorsbymichelle.

My sister is joining me (live on Facebook and Instagram at 1pmEST) to share her experience of leaving corporate America, off-ramping and mothering her way for nearly 10years, and now reigniting her passion by launching #interiorsbymichelle 💥👏👏💥 💛

She’ll also share simple interior design tips and product suggestions to add style and organization to your playroom /family room. 💛

COMMENT: What’s your biggest interior design dilemma? Do you have any tips for keeping a family room organized and not overrun with kids stuff? #playroomdecor #hustlelikeamom #familyhome #mommymomemtswithpamela

You KNOW that I’m all about #mentorship and #rolemodels. But let’s remember that the #answers, the #inspiration and the #love live inside ourselves, most importantly. So, don’t forget to #beyourownhero, loves! 💫💥👑💖

When you shoot a show called MOMMY MOMENTS, and the guest is a kickass #hustlelikeamom mompreneur @joalmstead that created a handbag @jmaternyc that helps you with #chaoscontrol in your busy mama life ... 💛

click link 🔗 in bio to watch the show 💛 & then you realize 30min after taping that you have to cancel the rest of your day and rush home because you got a babysitter that doesn’t drive and you didn’t even leave her keys to the house! 💛

This is real #mommymoments ... can’t script the gaffs, the #mommybrain the cuddles, & the crazy that is MOM LIFE 😜

Comment away: what mama gaffs have you done recently? Please tell me I’m not he only one? 💛

#tbt to sharing the stage with this power mama @mollybsims 💋 I love how she is evolving her brand and sharing her journey in #mommyland via her book #Everydaychic (hello #stockingstuffers ) website and social feeds. 💋 And I love that we both share a message about ending this crazy mom shaming cycle. lets #sharedontshame and support all mamas trying to do their best, as best they know how. 💋 We don’t always have the answers, or keep the closets organized, or remember what color they need to wear for a play, or the best way to teach them to read, or or many many ors. But we overflow with love, we #hustelikeamom. We get it done every single day! #micdrop 💋 Hey Molly, I’m coming to LA this spring, come on the #facebooklive show #MommyMomentswithPamela 💋

What happens when two mamas connect and share their unique #mommymoments ? Lots of chatting, sharing, learning and loving! ❤️ Thanks @heysugarlookingood for coming on Mommy Moments with Pamela to share your story about turning your side hustle skincare/wellness brand into a fully-committed business. 👏👏👏 So proud to have sat on the couch to listen to your honesty and wisdom. 💋If you missed the live show, click link in bio 🔗 for the fun interview. 💋 Mamas, if you can reshape/repost on your FB feed.
Let’s keep the convo going and growing into 2018. Every mama has a story to share, every mama has her own mommy journey, every mama is doing the best she can. So let’s embrace one another & #sharedontshame one another 🙌💋😘

I’m all smiles, inside and out, and having a #ThankfulThursday moment, as I reflect on my real mommy moments + the kickoff of my #FacebookLive show MOMMY MOMENTS with PAMELA. (🔗 in bio) 😀

Thank you to @caravannyc @thegregorynyc for giving me a beautiful place to shoot, plus flawless hair + makeup. @mustaev_usa @shereecosmetics 💋

Thank you to all the amazing mama guests from the past few weeks for sharing your mommy moments and mama wisdom. @stacyigel @glowmaven @randizinn @kristinmcgee @denisealbert @themomsnetwork You inspire, empower and uplift me + our whole mom tribe.

Thank you @interiorsbymichelle my amazing sister for being my temporary videographer, full-time friend and limitless fountain of support.

Thanks to the ladies who finally convinced me to go for it. Your tribe impacts your vibe. @sabinaknows @thejenniferwalsh @brittneyhlevine @mkgtoo @sukanya Support one another, and rise up together! #womemsupportingwomen #werisetogether #werise 💋

And thank YOU for watching, liking, clicking and commenting. I am so grateful we get to connect and share with one another. The goal of the show is to show how much all moms have in common, even if our journeys and dreams are different. So let’s #sharedontshame one another!! 💋
Click link in bio for yesterday’s moving and motivating interview w @themomsnetwork @denisealbert and tune in next Wednesday 1pmEST for my last MOMMY MOMENTS show of the year, with ⭐️@heysugarlookingood ⭐️

Stay tuned for a revamped, mommy Moments for 2018. 🎉 I can’t wait for more sharing, less mom shaming and loads of laughs, listening + learning. 💋

PS if you have a moments post+share the show on your Facebook page. Thanks 😘 https://www.facebook.com/PamelaPekerman/videos/1285483058224112/

Inspired and in love with @denisealbert co-founder @themomsnetwork 💋

Click link 🔗 in bio for the #mommymomentswithpamela interview I just did on #facebooklive with this power mama.

She shared insights into life as an independent mom who’s #happilydivorced, growing her media mogul business, tips for other moms looking to launch a career outside the home, & her ability to turn adversity into ammunition for change #FutureCancerSurvivor 💋

Comment, like and love ❤️. I appreciate your good vibes as I plan more shows, more guests and more moms sharing #ShareDontShame in 2018

Miami mamas, guess who’s back? 💋🔥💋 I’m taping some fun segments for @nbc6inthemix on 1) How to Create Mommy Me Moments during the stressful holiday season 💋2) Gifts that Give Back #Shop4Vasculitis 🙏 I’ll share air dates soon. 💋And, don’t forget tomorrow 1pm my #facebooklive show MOMMY MOMENTS with Pamela, with guest @roxynbc6 host @nbc6inthemix and #boymom x2. After our chat, I’m keeping it Miami hot and sharing 5 Tips for being a Sexy Confident Mama. 💋 Like/friend my Facebook page and join the conversation #mommymoments #mommymomentswithpamela

Ya, that’s how exiting it is to trash (umm, I mean talk about) your kids and #momlife 😍. #tbt to yesterday debut of #mommymomentswithpamela my #Facebooklive show devoted to the crazy+cuddles the silly+insanity the magic+meltdown experience of motherhood. 💋Thank you @stacyigel for being my guest, sharing your #momjourney as #mompreneur and sticking around for my show & tell of 5 #beautysleep secrets. 💋 I can’t believe it’s taken over a decade to finally take the leap and self produce. 💋🙌Here’s to the journey ahead. If you missed our live show, click link in bio to watch it & drop a comment sharing your feedback and what you want to see in future shows. 💋Next week, my guest is @glowmaven author of #ownyourglowthebook 🙌 I can’t say enough about this golden light! 💋More details to come - Wednesday November 8th, 1pmEST 💋✨🙏 #ownyourglow #mommymoments

#tbt getting the scoop on everyday chic from this fab mama x3 @mollybsims @themomsnetwork #mamarazzi. 💋 Check out her new book #EverydayChic for simple and smart entertaining, organizing and style tips for the busy mom. 💋Mamas, what I love most about this ray of light model mama is that Molly keeps it real and gets the #sharedontshame #stopmomshaming messaging I'm SO passionately trying to promote. 💋🙌 PS I'm heading to LA soon for a fun project ... west coast be on the look out #hustlelikeamom

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