THE PAIN & SEDUCTION OF POLARITY
It feels as though I live between two realities. I often feel torn.... worried that the deeper I go into the wilderness, the more sensitive I become, the more my body yearns for the rhythm of nature, and thus the further away it takes me from being able to function in our modern society. But there hasn’t been a choice really, only a loud voice calling me back time and time again. Calling me deeper into the way of the wild, into the place where time is non existent and the layers of the past and future stack upon each other into a present moment of eternity. Just as she is able to reflect my shadow, she calls me into a place of the deepest orgasmic bliss, expanding my understanding of self until it shatters and each sound, each smell, each surge of sensation become a part of me as it ricochets through my perception.
Colours become brighter and crisper, birds and crickets create a symphony beyond perfection, yearning for me to sing in perfect harmony with all of creation.
Old faces gaze back at me. Their wise eyes holding mine, reflecting a knowing of things I only ever imagined to remain a mystery. And yet with more knowing the questions and mysteries expand as my curious heart desires more, hungry to be intimate with the unfathomable magic that is life.
So I hold the questions, not seeking answers but offering my prayer, open to receive whatever guidance she perceives I’m ready for. I become full, overflowing with passion and inspiration to share and shake us back into rememberance.
And then the time comes, the mischievous clock, waiting around the corner calling me to re-enter the world of human designed order. So I step back towards the city, placing each foot with trepidatious care. I feel my expanded mind recoil in reaction to abrasive stimuli, but my heart remains wide this time. Each time my quest is apparent, she challenges me to bring the wild overflowing naturegasms back into this existence, into each interaction. Weaving the bridge of reconnection. And so I crack and break and grieve the suppression of the wild, yet somehow she holds me through to open, again, to the mystery, with a cheeky knowing smile.