10 years from now.
BPD was showing its first traits... But my focus was on my studies, discovering a life that I never thought I d experienced. Being able to function like others in the society... I struggled... But I was so patient... Yet so young... 20 years old.
I used this picture on my main page, to say to the people who know me in the "real world" that I have a #mentalillness that I fight every day !
Some people felt free to judge, even if I labelled the picture #notaskingforyourapproval " I don't think everyone needs to know... It is for you, you know. "

I have a mental illness, but sometimes I still know what s good for me.
This night was one of these nights, when a weight got lift off my shoulders.

I have #borderlinepersonalitydisorder and I am still a person.
My struggles are real.
My victories are real.
And I won't let anyone tell me otherwise from now on.
#bpd #acceptingmyself #throwbackwednesday #comingout #mentalhealthawareness #happiness #bpdawareness #hope #etatlimite #patienceisthekey #borderline #recovery #bpdwarrior #dontcare #realfriendswillstay #free #bpdbeautiful #newchapter #grateful #hope #mentalhealth #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #bpdbeauty #grateful

En route to the SMCo Thrift National Training Conference and we spotted this PSA on the walls at Logan. Really made us feel good about the work we are doing!
#mentalhealthawareness #endthestigma #chickenalleymv #thriftlife #islandlife #mvcs #hereforyouforlife #knoxvilleorbust

Transformation Tuesday!! I have lost 140 pounds in the past 4 years!! I legit don't feel like the person on the left and I am freaking stooookkkkked about that!

I am not lazy.
I am not broken.
I am not unhealthy.
I am not defined by my illnesses.
And most importantly, I am not allowing myself to ever become that old me again!!! You might notice that my oldest isn't in this picture on the right.
You might also notice how unhappy we all were on the left. There's a reason for that-- I was zombie-ing through my life!! Ok so I miss my daughter more than I can say in words. I allowed my anger and frustration cause a breakdown in communication with her other family.
I have cried and screamed and thrown my fits over the fact that I lost a case due to fear of confrontation. I didn't respond because I didn't believe it was real.
I turned to my old way of coping by shutting down.. and it didn't serve me. I feel like I have failed my daughter... at the saaaaame time tho, I haven't failed her. We talk as much as she wants to and I have never stopped loving her.

I am doing my best to get my health in check because I know I need help!! I had my kids before I confronted my own past trauma. I wasn't ready to deal with hormones from my kiddo cuz I still don't understand my own!!! I am learning how to take care of myself now so I can teach my daughters how to care for and express themselves in a healthier way than zombie-ing through life.

This is parenting. The good, the bad, the unhealthy and the transformed.
#transformationtuesday #tenaciousBEE #keepmovingforward #progressoverperfection #beeyourbest #selfimprovement #beyou #beweird #beproud #beestrong #youareabadass #parentingmyself #momswithmohawks #shades #myminime #blondgirls #momanddaughters #girlmom #weirdos #mentalhealthawareness #changinglives #1in20pmdd #pmddawareness #autoimmune #hashimotos #thyroidhealth #degenerativediscdisease #soberlife #SELFLOVE #mywellnessjourney

Repost via my main page @biancataylorm
Then VS now.
(35lb difference & an iPhone upgrade)
It took me YEARS to achieve the point of having a healthy relationship with my own reflection, fitness, and food. I’m at a place now where I can achieve my fitness goals with a healthy mentality, but I wasn’t always in this place of peace. And I want to add that it isn’t a magic switch, it’s a daily practice of self appreciation and gratitude.
I always have a bit of fear in sharing my personal story because of the cruelty of the internet, so please be kind and keep in mind that your words can affect not just the person you’re insulting, but the vulnerable girl or boy scrolling through reading and absorbing your words onto themselves.
Left pic: 2014 I developed anorexia (though I secretly had disordered eating on and off throughout high school) but disguised it as my “love for fitness”. & I did and still do love fitness-but I hid my self destruction behind being a “gym rat”. I had major anxiety about my past and allowed it to manifest into self-hatred. I blamed myself for sexual abuse. I blamed myself for toxic relationships. I starved my body down -30lbs lower because deep down I wanted to disappear.
I called suicide hotline out of desperation one day and changed my mind about my course, and was shortly after blessed with my dog (rip) who changed the way I saw the world.
2018: I still deal with bad days, but I’m stronger during them. I train because I love it and I eat to fuel my body and goals without attaching my body to my self-worth. I forgive myself everyday for the damage I did during those early years and soak up abundance around me. I laugh at my belly rolls, I don’t mind my cellulite.
I eat healthy so I can have a clear mind and energized body. I forgive the people from my past who used me and abused me, and I thank the universe for showing me a man’s kind love through @nimai_delgado
I practice self love daily. I skip the gym when I want to but I push through tough workouts when I need to.
I’m sharing this because I’ve been in the darkness. & I want to let you know there’s so much light on the other side if you look for it. Please don’t give up ❤️

Why are YOU alive? #myreasonwhy is

🌈 #2 Know your own worth - A week of positivity quotes. ‘Surround yourself with people who know your worth. You don’t need to many people in your life, just the real ones who appreciate you for exactly who you are. @stephenconnordesign

All this rain is doing crazy things to my hair 😳. I remember being so obsessed with having everything perfect, from my hair and my makeup to my nails. I’d always freak out if it I didn’t feel like I looked perfect, because I was so afraid everyone would notice my flaws such as my thicker body, and square face. As I’ve become more confident in who I am, and how I look, Ive learned I don’t always have to be in control. Let the rain make my hair big, and maybe my make up won’t look as polished by the end of the day, but who really cares 🤷🏻‍♀️ you’re beautiful no matter how much make up you do or don’t have, hair done or not, size 2 or 20. People’s opinions don’t write your checks of validation ❤️

#progressnotperfection #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #beauty #confidence #confident #greeneyes #pale #fit #fitnessmotivation #lifequotes #bodypositive #bodypositivity #smiles #tuesdaymotivation #fallvibes #rainydays #fitspo #fitspiration #healthy #likeforlikes #like4likes

so as i said i was admitted because they thought i was still a risk for myself... three days after being released i was admitted to the hospital again for suicidal ideation. they kept me overnight to keep an eye on me because i had an active suicide plan. but here i am!!! they released me and we safety planned. i’m hopeful for the future you guys. -
hey guys so this was me at my first appointment for intensive outpatient therapy yesterday. my therapist evaluated me and decided i’m still a risk to myself so she sent me back to the hospital and i got admitted and sent to C-5 which is a locked unit. i tried to run away at intensive outpatient and they called security on me LMFOOOAOAOAOAOAO. i’ll update y’all on what happened in the hospital in the best few posts..
#therapy #mentalhealthawareness #suicideawareness #likeforlikes #fatacceptance #selflove #selfcare #depression #suicide #love #instagood #care #hospital #mentalhealth #mentalhospital #mentalillness #counseling #motivation

It’s hard for me to admit when I’m having problems and it’s even harder to reach out for help because I feel so guilty. Compared to so many other people who have bigger struggles, I often feel mine are insignificant or that my feelings and thoughts are invalid. However, depression and anxiety are bigger than individual struggles/feelings/thoughts. Nothing can substitute seeking professional help but sometimes, reading a book, listening to a podcast and receiving goods news as such is my case, can really turn things around. I debated posting this but I wanted to be sincere and really express how I felt. And now? Now I feel grateful and hopeful! 🙏🏼❤️🌎 Thank you God/ Mother Earth!
Btw, I highly recommend listening to @nprinvisibilia if you are feeling a bit lost or just want to learn more about human behavior. 📸 @anitaname10 ❤️
#tuesdaythoughts #mentalhealthawareness #youarevalid

Just made it into the third decade of my life... here’s to another thirty. One day at a time! #recoveryfromanorexia #onedayatatime #mentalhealthawareness #anorexiarecovery #edwarrior

“Life is tough my darling, but so are you”
It is SO easy SO 👏🏼EASY👏🏼 to let life get to you. How I manage to stay positive through the tough stuff (big or small) is to think about how it’s happening FOR me, rather than TO me.
How can I grow from this?
What can I do better?
Today was not my day.
But tomorrow will be. 👊🏼

Thank you @jcsu_athletics ...Thank you Coach Blount for allowing us to come speak with your players today. These guys understand the importance mental health & the coaches value it as well. To make things even better, they are wearing green tape on the 10/6 game day at 1pm in support of #mentalhealthawareness ......You guys rock!!!!!!💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Oh California…I KNEW you loved me as much as I love you! I’m SO excited to make it official with a public rendezvous in a few weeks :) I can’t wait to deliver my program to high schools across your glorious state so that your teachers and students can understand their own minds!!!! No matter how far I roam, I will always remember that my master plan of changing the world started with YOU ❤️❤️❤️

I made a friend today, despite my disorder telling me daily that I’m not worthy of friends. I’m hella happy tonight!!! ♥️ (if you like makeup, follow her page! she’s super talented @karinaolesya) 💕#borderlinepersonality #borderline #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentalgrowth #mentalhealth #mentalillness #awareness #support #actuallybpd #personalitydisorder #personalitydisorders #actuallyborderline #dbt #mentalhealthawareness

Thanks everyone for all the hard work and great participation. Thank you @sharifahsofia and Marsy for being awesome as always. We had a great time with everyone during the workshop Alhamdulillah. Let’s work towards achieving the rippling effects of advocacy, hope and inspiration. We hope everyone felt empowered and loved! ❤️❤️❤️#miasa #malaysia #journeytorecovery #everyonematters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessawareness

Lots of people avoid talking about their feelings about a whole host of things. But repressing or minimizing one’s feelings doesn’t make the feelings go away. If anything, they linger and fester, only to explode later. Not fully processing events and emotions often creates negative thought patterns that can impact every area in your life – your relationships with your spouse, parents, kids, coworkers, and even yourself. So learning how to process them can change how you maneuver in many different ways. #talk #talktherapy #mentalhealthawareness

It’s a struggle. Surround yourself with people who say and ask those questions and just keep trying. #friends #support #bipolar #depression #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #keeptrying #itgetsbetter

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