Ugh...I was supposed to go to @rachellmichelle_'s party today, but my body had other plans 😡. At least these rose cupcakes won't go to complete waste. The cake part is vanilla with rose wine in it (it's kinda hard to tell but it has been colored pink as well), and the frosting is a vanilla buttercream. I spent all last night making them, and I didn't even get to take them to the party 😞 Oh well, next time! #roseallday #rosecupcakes #cupcakes #yummy #nationalpinkday #buttercream #baker #hormonessuck

A little over 7 months ago I competed in my first bodybuilding competition. I was the leanest I had ever been in my adult life. I knew, however, it wasn't a healthy physique to try to hold onto long term. So here I am now, about 15 lbs heavier depending on the time of day.
Here's where the truth bomb comes out. I look at myself in the mirror lately and I'm not thrilled with my reflection. I feel "fluffy" and honestly wish I was leaner. I can also say that I've felt really "off" the past few weeks with bloating, headaches, mild depression (which I am assuming are adverse effects from birth control). All these things have really been messing with my mind and my body image.
My logical side knows that I can't make muscle gains without also gaining some fat. And I also know that I'm well within a healthy weight and that I have nothing to be ashamed of because I work hard and fuel my body with mostly nutrient dense foods. It's that nagging illogical side that feeds on my insecurities and tells me I'm not "enough" . It's hard, and right now it's honestly a daily struggle.
So how am I going to overcome this??? By doing my best to nip that negative self talk in the bud and by showing myself some grace and love. Reminding myself how strong and capable I am, how far I've come, and where I want to go. Telling myself that this body has carried me thru some amazing experiences and that it's only getting started!!! So here's to being "enough" and loving you're body no matter what stage of the process you're in!

#UnfilteredLife The past three weeks have been the worst of my life. I thought I had suffered a miscarriage, which was then discovered to be an ectopic pregnancy. I was rushed into surgery and lost one of my Fallopian tubes. I experienced full contractions for 4 hours a week later as my body tried to clear everything out. My body remained flooded with hormones and I’ve been bleeding heavily for three weeks. Every time I have thought that whichever awful thing has happened “at least means it’s over now”, I’ve been wrong. So I am afraid. And angry that I am afraid. I shared a long #instastories thread last week which you can find under the highlights section on @pregnantincapetown It helped. I know I need to get more out of my head. And I know I have to move forward eventually. Physically today I feel terrifyingly hopeful that maybe this time, this change, is a real shift to the end of it. And so i am tentatively planning to try to find small things to focus on. ...
The @ohsoheavenlysa skin care range I’ve been using has been amazing. I have loved it, but right now my skin is needing something better designed to deal with the beating by skin has taken from hormones and post-op and extensive bed rest. I have a hit list of brands I think might help, but any suggestions and feedback is very welcome. If you think your brand might be able to help, please get in touch.
@bodytreatsza @skincreamery @dermalogicasa @drdermal @eucerin_international @avene_sa @optiphi @theravinesa

Update on my #skinproblems. A few weeks ago I shared that I've been suffering from hormonal acne. It was so bad I was having painful cysts on my jawline that left scars. So I've been using differin for about 3 weeks now. I've read mixed reviews. Keep in mind it said it could take 3 months for my skin to heal itself. Several things I've noticed beginning to happen:
1. My skin tone is much more normal from the ph face wash I've been using. I was noticing that my skin color looked patchy
2. I haven't had any cysts since I started using it.
3. My skin is super sensitive which it warned me about. When we went to Six Flags my fqce felt like it was on fire from the sunscreen and chlorine.
4. The scars are no joke from my cysts but I think they are finally starting to fade a little.
The info thing inside the differin did tell me that some zits sit below the skin and that it can force those up and that would explain the little pop up zits I've been having. Boo!
All in all I'm happy so far. I was past my breaking point with those painful cysts. Hoping to run to the store soon for some tea tree wipes to try. I've heard good things. Thank you all for your tips and suggestions and support!
#skincare #nofilter #hormonalacne #birthingyears #hormonessuck #face #skincareregime

Just posting a clarification on my earlier post; I think I’ve inadvertently misled you all and caused some worry.... I’m happy and our relationship is bloody magnificent. •

I am happy in my life, I have just been having increasingly common ‘episodes’ of tears when I’m not even sad and, less commonly, a dip in mood as a side effect of a regular medication* (that I am now ending). These episodes are confusing and frustrating for both of us. I’ve become increasingly fed up with ‘myself’ as a result - and that’s been hard on Nathan. I’m not depressed and I don’t have any pressing matters I need to talk about so please, please don’t worry. •

My post was intended to be an appreciation post for how great Nathan has been. It was a post about a new start because I won’t be taking that medication any more and hope that the end of these episodes is coming. It was also a post about acknowledging the fact that my emotions have been causing problems and that it’s ok to talk about that. Even though I am on my way to being a mental health nurse and I’m a big believer in battling stigma, it is still really hard to publicly admit that I’ve been crying an awful lot, that I’ve been at the mercy of these mood changes and not always entirely in control. It makes for some funny stories, but it generally just makes life a bit harder. It’s ok to not always be ok and it’s ok to say so. •

This is a picture of Tilly. Tilly is looking real happy. Tilly is serving as a canine representation of how I am feeling knowing I have so many lovely, supportive people in my life. I’m sorry if I made you worry and I thank you for caring enough to check in. I hope I’ve made it clearer. • *The medication was a hormone-based tablet used for various hormone related conditions and imbalances. It is also less commonly used as a contraceptive pill, so if you’re one of the many women who have had pill-based emotional side effects you may understand what I’m talking about. To be fair, if you’ve experienced or witnessed sad-PMS (rather than angry-PMS) then just imagine that but for 18 months straight instead of a day or two a month. #hormonessuck

A little late to the party as usual, and honestly, it’s the end of a long day and the last thing I feel like doing is posting a selfie. I don’t know about all you mama’s out there but I have come to the conclusion that pregnancy does not like me, and you know what, I don’t really like it either. In the last three months these little hormone friends of mine have wrecked havoc on my skin (hello unblemish) and forced me to spend all my “spare time” throwing up, trying not to throw up, trying to figure out what to eat, sleeping or wishing I was sleeping....and now the headaches. I don’t feel cute and I don’t really like posting selfies....BUT I’m a sucker for a good cause, kids and anything R+F so here I am getting naked (who am I kidding, I go naked all day every day y’all 😉) for #rfgonaked before bed! If your not old, exhausted and already in bed like me - then you still have time!
SUPER easy....post a make up free selfie, make it public and use the hashtag #rfgonaked to help us raise money for kids in need. Every dollar matters y’all! #16weekspregnant #sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired #stillthankful #hormonessuck #givingbackdoesnt #dogoodnaked #okgoodnight

Had my alarm set to wake up early and head to the gym. However, it either didn't go off, or I shut it off and completely forget doing it... either way I was only able to get in my run for the day. Looks like legs for tomorrow instead. Started watching #theletdown on #netflix and it's great! It even has my spirit animal @celestebarber in it 😍

One of the many things I hate about my #endometriosis is the hormone changes I feel throughout the month. After my 4th surgery last summer I suddenly have super low days that make doing normal things a bit harder. Whats worse is that I know my emotions/thoughts are irrational, but it doesn't make it any easier. I hope surgery number 5 next month brings a positive change in many ways.... #5thtimesacharm? •
#endometriosisawareness #endowarrior #endometriosiswarrior #endosister #endosisters #endosistersunite #runningwithendometriosis #hormonessuck #infertilitysucks #5krun #5krunning #netflixandrun #runningtherapy #runyouremotionsout

Hormones SUCK- Well technically they've always sucked.. but now im going bold so they suck big hairy balls right now!! I thought yes! im going to go through this post partum boldness unscathed. HAH! 😐😑😒😔🤕 #mumlife #postpartumbaldness #needawig #mumshonesttruth #hormonessuck

Today is one of those days I don't think the 11 year old & the one that's about to turn 13 are going to make it out of summer alive........ #boymomproblems #whycantwebefriends #hormonessuck #teenagehell #helpmejesus

I had a whole workout crew today! ❤️ I’m so glad they joined me because they kept me going!
Remember this, pain is temporary but quitting lasts forever!
You can always make your way through a painful workout and you will always feel amazing after accomplishing it. But if you quit, that feeling of failure stays with you forever! So, stop quitting!!!
Today was 50/50 legs and HIIT...it was hard but I can do hard things so I did it! You can do hard things too!
The top excuse people have when talking with them about their health and fitness is that they don't have time. Well, I say MAKE THE TIME! This is your life were talking about...it's IMPORTANT! Why wouldn't you want to feel and look your best?! Plus, with this new program, LIIFT 4, it’s only 4 days a week for 30 minutes. Anyone can do that!
Let go of the excuses! Stop quitting on yourself! Let me help you! Join my new group starting Monday and let's do it together 💪🏻
#courtneywontquit #christianmom #patience #joy #thisisforme #happiness #findyourpassion #gethealthy #momofthree #dogmom #jesuslover #overcomer #sahm #workathomemom #determined #hypothyroidism #thyroidproblems #thyroiddisease #menopausal #menopausesucks #hormonessuck #hormoneimbalance

National Selfie Day has me all 😁!! Wanna know the truth?
Men, you may want to tune out and ladies.....LEAN IN!
Do you have that time in your cycle when that a-hole voice in your head starts telling all the things that you aren’t?
Or that time in your cycle when you feel like you could literally eat your young and/or cry at the drop of the hat?
That’s today for me!

I can feel it. I can acknowledge it. I cannot control it, but I can do my best to work with it.
I had a meeting scheduled for today where I truly needed to be able to put my best self forward for it to be productive and I decided to ask to reschedule it. (Benefits of working for myself and having awesome, understanding people that I work with!) It was going to be a waste of our time for me to not be in a good headspace and I do not like to waste people’s time.

Could I have pushed through? Yup. Would it have been the best choice for the situation? Nope!

Ladies, the hormones are real. The fluctuations are epic! You are not crazy pants. You are a miracle-maker that wouldn’t be who you were meant to be without all the crazy hormones. Give yourself some grace and some space. It will pass and that a-hole in your head will shut up in a day or so! ❤️❤️

Life is such a roller coaster for me! Lots of days are hard to find peace, happiness and enjoyment but other days I have that! Its difficult to live with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, pmdd and many more other things but I keep pushing through. I have a loving boyfriend, a best friend and family for support. Nothing beats that. Its a constant battle for me to go through it but I am strong! Today is take a seflie day😂 so I did!
#selfieday #happiness #sadiness #enjoyment #boyfriend #bestfriend #support #hormonessuck #pmdd

Hormones are knocking me out. So so tired, and sore and moodsvings and hotflashes.. Someone knock the shit out of me 🙄😂 #baaah #hormonessuck #knockmeout

Momma friends... it’s been a day. You know those days where you’re just like, “I quit. I’m done adulting today.” 🙅🏻‍♀️
Abigail woke me up at midnight last night. (Why doesn’t she go to daddy’s side of the bed?!?) We played this back and forth game until after 2:30am. When she didn’t come back, I thought I had won. #ohsweetmomma #howwrongyouare .
I was blissfully asleep 😴 until she came back at 4am because the kindle battery had died and I noticed she had taken a MARKER to her stomach. 😳🙄#heyitcouldvebeenworse
Thank you sweet Jesus for Sesame Street, organic fruit/veggie pouches, lemon essential oil💧to remove all the #bodyart from the devious three year old 😈 #heavenhelpme , peanut butter crackers, the security camera so I can see who’s at my door without getting up off the couch #dontjudgeme , super glue because #brokenglasses , Cool Azul Pain Relied cream because #cramps & #allthetravel , Yeti mugs that keep my coffee/tea hot #momhack , and Dragon Time essential oil💧so I don’t become the dragon 🐉 I’m feeling like and breathe fire 🔥 on everyone around me. #hormonessuck
In other news, the girls have pulled out ALL the toys, tried to “help me” unpack 🤦🏻‍♀️ & I’m without a 🚗 #carproblems 😠 How bad is it to eat pizza 🍕 two nights in a row?

#isitbedtimeyet #mommaneedswine #survivingtheday #momlife #livingonsnackfoods #allthepizza #supergluetotherescue #midnightshenanigans #diymomma #craftymomma #momofgirls #allthewines #tiredmomma #whenitrainsitpours #tryingtostaypositive #positiveineedwine #andcoffee

What am I thinking you might ask? Oh you know, just contemplating why god saw fit to curse me with a break out at age 26. Aren’t I past that phase in life yet?? #expectationvsreality

I am so grouchy today 😐 Im like the summer equivalent of the grinch! Kids laughing? How dare they! Wipe that smile off your face! Shut all the blinds and keep that annoying sunlight out. Close the windows so i dont have to listen to that insufferable bird singing! Honestly, i could be a disney villian today. Not my fault, its my hormones! I was meant to go back to the dr this week about it, she wants me to go back every month to "monitor" it, but whats the point. Shes already told me i have a hormone imbalance and theres nothing they can do about it because the only treatments are dangerous for me. So i guess im just gonna be horrible for the rest of my life! #hormonessuck #hormoneimbalance #grouch #elgroucho #sorry #imhorrible #disneyvillian #summergrinch #fitness #strengthtraining #weighttraining #running #cardio #fitfam #girlswholift #motivation #positivity

My new workout program is THE BEST!!! I LOVE that it’s only 4 days a week and super short! I never feel stressed about getting it done. It leaves me sweaty, out of breath and super red faced. It has been the perfect thing to get me going again!
I have been struggling with some more fatigue since exercising again so I’m trying to work it all out. I know I feel my best when I sweat and push myself a little so it’s totally worth it.
Whatever your fitness needs are, I can help. I’m here and I’d love to have you on this journey with me. So, if you’re looking to get started or just ready for a change of pace, let’s chat to find the best fit for you!
#courtneywontquit #christianmom #patience #joy #thisisforme #happiness #findyourpassion #gethealthy #momofthree #dogmom #jesuslover #overcomer #sahm #workathomemom #determined #hypothyroidism #thyroidproblems #thyroiddisease #menopausal #menopausesucks #hormonessuck #hormoneimbalance

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