After about 5 minutes (that really felt like an eternity) of furiously searching for my baby boy in a new school full of other good samaritan (and frankly forever friends in my mind) parents, doing the same, I began to hyperventilate. I had looked in every single open room, in the school kitchen, in every corridor and classroom and every time I came back to the main hall and saw the other parents and teachers without him in their arms (and looking at me wildly panicked, too), I for a brief moment thought, "my boy has been kidnapped." My mind went to weird places and it felt like the thoughts as I literally sprinted in and out of the school, to the parking lots and jungle gyms were stomping me into the ground. Tears were flowing and because I couldn't breathe, my cry was not silent and sweet but dreadfully panicked and almost groaning. The dad who caught the first groan stopped me and said "were gonna find him, were gonna find him." I wasn't so sure at that point. And then I reopened the front doors to the school to see a teacher hustling toward me with him tightly in her arms, saying, "I found him, I found him, he's right here, he's ok." I quickly ran to her, sweeped him out of her arms and held him tighter than I think I ever have. It was like a PTSD moment from that same feeling of impending loss all over again from his NICU days. It was like I couldn't look at his eyes deep enough. And as I stood there with the potential of feeling humiliated by my carelessness to let him slip out of my sight. all I felt was grace. Because only moments before I opened the door to see the teacher, as I just heard the man reassure me, I spoke out the name of Jesus. And then GRACE. I was distracted and over-busy and certainly too loosey goosey in my watching over him as he slipped into the neighboring preschool room to Judah's (and later found silently playing in the corner), but grace. Grace sustains me in my motherhood literally EVERY DAY. Grace rescued me and him in the NICU back then and I assert and fully believe will follow us all the days of our lives. Thank you Jesus.