You've been gone for four months, and life has already changed so much. Sometimes I still get confused; you see part of me still thinks you're just far away, distance can get confusing like that.
But then the anger built up inside of me reminds me that you're no longer in physical form, and that I can't just call you to say "saudades".
But Saudade is all I have; the deep longing to be on your lap, or to be teased to the point of yelling at you that I'm not a kid anymore!
But all I want is to be a kid again
I wanna sit on your shoulders; and hear you singing from your heart, or hear you tell me how I'm the most beautiful ever.
I'm getting married soon, and knowing you won't be there weighs heavily on my soul. Knowing you won't get to meet my children, and that they won't feel the love you so strongly projected.
There's a void; and it's hard to get past it.
But I keep going