It's something really personal, but I've decided to share my story to whoever you might be or live: I suffered from depression since I was 14 years old. Since I was 10 years old, my teachers and my colleagues mocked me and let me feel worthless. One teacher told my mother, I was not that 'big deal' she thought I was, which made her cry and destroyed my faith in me. I felt like I was a disappointment for my parents. Everything I started eventually failed, so I began to believe actually, that I was nothing, that I didn't deserve love, and when somebody gave me love, I felt uncomfortable. My mental breakdown occured, when my business went broke, I breaked up with my girlfriend, and was nearly homeless. My uncle was dying, my grandmother was dying too, and I didn’t had the money to attempt their funeral, I couldn’t l say goodbye, something I will regret till my dying day. You know, all these things may not seems hard for someone who went through something harder that I went, but for me it felt like dying. Funny thing is, that people actually say to you, that there are people that went through rougher things, but this gives you not somekind of relief. One day I was there, sitting on my car, and asked myself, not 'if‘, but rather how to end this pain. I prayed. From the bottom of my heart. I decided not to end it. The next day I recieved an unexpected paycheck, which gave me hope. Since then I truelly believe in God. It took me a lot of courage to admit my depression. Everyone saw me as intolerant, always angry, tired, aphetic. Nobody really cared and nobody could really understand. All they gave me were some bullshit advices, like everything is gonna be alright. My thoughts destroyed me, but I realised, that I was not that guy, who everybody told me I was. I was not my parents expectations, I was not my “friends“ view of me. I accepted myself. I forgave myself. I even forgave those people, because they didn't know what they were doing. It took me a lot of strength to overcome this illness and till know those little demons try to bring me down. But days are passing and their voice are becoming quiter. Will this pain ever end? Yes, it will. Trust me.