#2017 has probably been the hardest year of my life so far. However I feel, during these #challenging times, I've let others get the best of my mind and my heart and I have #lost myself, almost completely. I wonder how I let myself get here because more often than not I don't recognize anything about me. I have always been the type of person to put everyone's needs in front of mine, and in doing so, I #forgot what I needed. And for the slight moments I remembered myself, and remembered what I wanted in life, I was still not strong enough to really make my needs known. I would ask #quietly or I would push too far, and still, I would back down at some point. A person can only #give so much until they are empty. And I have been feeling empty for a long time.
This #emptiness I've been feeling has lead me to hurt people I love and for that, I am sorry. For those I have lost in my life, I'm sorry for letting us get out of touch. But the person I became this year, is not the real me, and I will be the first to admit that I am not proud of some choices I've made and that my vision was #clouded. For those that have witnessed or been on the receiving end of these times, I am #sorry.
I will not place blame on others for letting myself get to this point - but I will start demanding the respect I deserve. Starting now, I'm working on getting myself back and #2018 is going to be the start of a #greatchapter. I understand that this will not be easy, and that many things in my life will need to #change, and it is going to take some time. But I will no longer let anyone make me feel bad for being the person I enjoy being, or cut me down for the way I feel, or for the interests I have. I will no longer bury my head in the sand, but will #standtall and #confident.