Hey y’all. Since my last post, I haven’t logged in. I’m sorry. To be honest, I have been absent of anything that has required me. I recently went through some pretty tough heart break. My worst fear happened to me and I was left in pieces. What’s worse was the anger. I was angry with people, myself, my life, and God. I couldn’t understand how He could allow this level of pain for me…again.
But this week, something changed. I don’t know if it was the help of finally being able to sleep without Benadryl or finally being able to eat a full meal again or if it were the tears my friends shed with me while they prayed for me, but it’s like I woke up and I wasn’t angry anymore. All of a sudden, I could see with grace. Trust me, grace was not deserved here, but isn’t that when grace is at its truest point? When logically it makes no sense to extend grace, you extend anyway?
I have always said that Southern Bliss started from lost dreams, but I didn’t think I’d go through this again, especially at 33. I thought I’d attain that desire of a home with someone and feel the warmth of family. Yet, here I am, still renting, still on-my-own, still so far from family, and still having to be strong.
I’m reminded that happiness is based only on outcomes. But then, there’s joy, or even better: bliss, which means “great joy”. Even if I never have a shared home or I’m never surrounded by family or even if I always lose love to someone else over and over again, I can still find bliss where I am. Life does not look like I had hoped, but bliss meets me when I crawl into my empty bed, bliss meets me when I take that road trip alone, and bliss meets me when I make dinner for one. I’ve been given a beautiful life despite the cards in front of me. There’s great joy, anyway.
So here I am, still Southern Bliss. I’m still the girl who has big dreams, even if it’s foggy right now. I’m still the girl who creates in my shop with country music on, even though I skip a few songs now. And even though I don’t have my home, I’m still the girl that can create for yours. Thank you for being here and I hope the journey ahead with Southern Bliss is more beautiful than it’s ever been, even still. 🌻