I’ve been thinking a lot about something lately.
When I started this account I had not a single idiot friend. I started it without anyone knowing that it exists and with advertising it in any kind. At least on purpose. No like for like, follow for follow, shoutout.
I started it because I loved Green Day and not because I wanted any followers or likes.
Well, this account was a great chance for me to write down everything I was feeling without having to be afraid that anyone I knew in real life would read it. I could just write and nobody would see it, maybe just a few strangers on the internet that I’d never meet in my life.
Well, good idea, doesn’t work. I found so many amazing friends here and I’m so thankful for every single one of you.
But the problem is, that the more friends I find here, the more I’m afraid of writing down my feelings here. It’s the same thing I do in real life and I hate that I do it. When I’ve got something bothering me in real life, it’s quite likely that I won’t talk about it. First of all because I don’t want them to judge about me, but also because I’m a little paranoid they might tell it others or don’t understand it or I just feel very uncomfortable about someone knowing it.
When I wrote here, I felt none of these things. I just wrote it down and got so much support I sometimes ended up crying.
Everything was fine until I started to make real friends here.
Quite often in the last time I had to think about something or felt sad or angry and normally I would have posted here, but then I remembered that I got friends that are going to read it and ask about it and I felt exactly the things I do in real life.
I don’t want to let this account turn into an unpersonal page where I post one pic a month until I delete it one day. I’d love to keep on posting how I did before, but I don’t know how to stop feeling like that.
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