Ive been silent about our infertility journey as of late because I think I needed that silence to hear my own voice. -
My voice had been muted and overshadowed by subconscious fears & lies of the enemy, deceit & sometimes misguided advice.
Wisdom was hard to decipher and a cloud of uncertainties loomed in every conversation & opinion. It’s hard to drown out the negativity when you don’t know your identity and you feel like you have to re innovate yourself to match your current season because nothing left of “who you were” is salvageable. -
It’s there where I filled my ears with numbing entertainment and mindless scrolling & physical and metaphorical DVR’s of other’s reality to escape my own. -
Numb, I felt nothing.
Alive, barely living.
So now, infertility is taking new names & my identity is being found in new freedoms I had yet to experience, authentic decisions, even throwing the frilly self care imitators in the garbage, and rediscovering who I am outside of the loneliness. It’s been a necessary journey & im in the midst of rewriting my story & the headline won’t be “infertility” or “miscarriage” or any verb or noun that gives satan credit for a piece of my life stolen, I’m taking back what’s mine & im building a wall of fire (just like God did for Jerusalem in Zachariah ) and God’s presence will dwell in those walls & his glory will be evident. -
I’ll be known by a new name & I can’t wait to see/hear/feel that manifest in our lives!