I stopped liking Thursday's 68 weeks ago today. 476 days ago,11,409 hours ago.
Not gonna lie, this sucks and I miss my son.
If I could go back and do anything to change this I would, but I cannot and this is what I have learned. I have actually learned so much since that day, so much about so many things but mainly I've learned a lot about myself. One of the most important things that I have realized is that life is too short to not be happy. With that being said I've been trying really hard to do things for me that make me happy. I know that Nikolaus wants me to be happy and doesn't want me to be miserable for the rest of my time here. There has been many a time that I have wanted to just crawl up in a ball and cry or run away from it all and try to forget or simply just not get out of bed...so many things but, I haven't and that's not to say I haven't cried, and cried ALOT. I honestly didn't think that the human body could produce as many tears as I have cried. I'm not one to give up, so I'm not, Im staying as strong as I can for me...and I have to be strong for my daughter and for all the people who have been through this journey with me and maybe have found some support from my words and/or actions in some way or another. It hasn't been easy and I don't expect it to ever be, grief is an emotion that is so complex...especially when it has to do with the loss of a child, but we have to keep going, for us and for them and for everyone else who is there for us and needs us.
I miss my son, plain and simple.
I love you Niko, ALWAYS AND FOREVER! ❤️