This was me, 6 years ago today. One of the only photos I have of these late days of pregnancy. Feeling foreign in my body, foreign in this country.
Perhaps you’re there, Mama, in this stage, right now, with that first baby inside you…I feel you. These will be challenging weeks, but please know they will soon be a memory.
In this photo I was lost, slightly dazed, totally confused but excited and nervous, absolutely feeling every single emotion about this beautiful baby that was about to be mine.
So unsure of this thing called Motherhood, how it would change my life in ways I would never have thought of. So nervous about my impending labour. Antenatal depression having taken its toll, thinking it would go away once baby, but yet it morphed into postnatal depression.
Stress, sleep deprivation, happiness, joy, sorrow, loneliness, all taking its toll in every single day of my life during these first days, which turned into weeks, which turned into years…
My body felt broken in those first few weeks. Though my body had created & delivered this beautiful baby, the battle scars of that 36 hour labour were raw, real, and unrelenting. Rather than empowered, I felt defeated.
I tried so hard to return to the life I once had. To somehow return to my old ‘normal’, rather than accept this new normal as my reality.
I was fighting a battle that I could never win. Motherhood is all encompassing.
Every area of your life now beats to a heartbeat that is not your own.
Finding yourself again, can feel impossible.
But please know, Mama, that it’s not. You will find your new normal, you will find your NEW YOU. As a mother. As a lover. As a friend. As YOURSELF.
Because once you’ve been through the depths, and survived, you will become stronger.
Please know that, Mama. YOU WILL BECOME STRONGER.
Strength comes from within.
Its a lesson learnt through the young lives of both of my children. And in time, you'll be there too 💗
#newmom #postnataldepression #strengthcomesfromwithin