#1in4

MOST RECENT

Some days you just miss your angel babes more than others... but regardless, you’re always missing them... #endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #endowarrior #endosisters #adenomyosis #pelvicpain #infertility #ttcsisters #ttcjourney #pregnancyloss #miscarriage #1in4 #1in10

#Repost @littlehalosministry (@get_repost)
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For all the grieving parents who have said "Goodbye" before they could truly say "Hello" to their little loved ones, know and believe that our babies are with Jesus this very moment! They are safe in the arms of Divine Love! Our hope will not disappoint! Keep your eyes on Jesus. God's Will is always true, perfect, good, and beautiful no matter what! And for all you pro-choicers out there, you can't separate the topic of abortion from the topic of miscarriage! Infant loss is infant loss! 💙💜
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LittleHalosMinistry.com - #InfantLossAwareness Across the Board. #UnbornLivesMatter Go to our Store to find healing resources. 💕💗💖
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#1in4 #lifeissacred #infantloss #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #prolife #prolifegeneration #chooselife #adoptionnotabortion #divinemercy #missyou #1in60 #ihadamiscarriage #fatherslove #momstrong #jesusheals #jesussaves #babiesofinstagram #LittleHalosMinistry #trustinGod #christian #catholic #jesus #bible #faith #hope #love

For all the grieving parents who have said "Goodbye" before they could truly say "Hello" to their little loved ones, know and believe that our babies are with Jesus this very moment! They are safe in the arms of Divine Love! Our hope will not disappoint! Keep your eyes on Jesus. God's Will is always true, perfect, good, and beautiful no matter what! And for all you pro-choicers out there, you can't separate the topic of abortion from the topic of miscarriage! Infant loss is infant loss! 💙💜
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LittleHalosMinistry.com - #InfantLossAwareness Across the Board. #UnbornLivesMatter Go to our Store to find healing resources. 💕💗💖
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#1in4 #lifeissacred #infantloss #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #prolife #prolifegeneration #chooselife #adoptionnotabortion #divinemercy #missyou #1in60 #ihadamiscarriage #fatherslove #momstrong #jesusheals #jesussaves #babiesofinstagram #LittleHalosMinistry #trustinGod #christian #catholic #jesus #bible #faith #hope #love

This one is hard for my to share because unfortunately it was a baby we never got to meet, but it a beautiful memory I still Cherish. June 22, 2017 almost a year and half ago, we had been trying to conceive for a year. I couldn’t believe it we were PREGNANT!!! Brandon was hunting and I was painting the bathroom and to his knowledge I was showing him the finished product. 👶🏻🌈

I had the incredible honor of working with @nevaky. A store specializing in pieces to commemorate angel babes ❤ pregnancy and infant loss is very dear to my heart and has changed my life forever. Check out their store. #1in4

Hammersmith Bridge in London, walking back to the station after an insightful and at times, a personal series of presentations on mental health and suicide prevention.

Thanks to @rosiemorshead @papyrus_uk and @timetochangecampaign for presenting and to @stpaulsschoollondon for hosting the event.

#SuicidePrevention #asktwice #mentalhealth #1in4

I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of weeks (I couldn’t get one any sooner) so I thought I’d try something a bit different in the mean time. Last time I had depression and anxiety (about seven years ago, for a decade) I would just lock myself in my room, read and / or listen to the radio. Now, I’m obviously older and have a job and family, so while I do want to hide and just sleep all day I literally can’t. Reading about how other people cope might help me. This book by @mattzhaig has been floating about on social media, TV and the like. So I thought I’d give it a go. One chapter in and I’m already feeling that I’m not alone in my illness. I’m ill. I’m poorly. The symptoms surrounding it are quite clear. Matt’s account of how he felt just makes me want to give him a cuddle and say that I understand. Because I really do. I’m a survivor of mental health problems and I will be again soon. help.” #depressionthoughts #depression #depressionrecovery #depressionsucks #depressionuk #depressionmemes #depressionhelp #depressionawareness #anxiety #depressionsupport #depressionandanxiety #depressionthoughts #depressionaccount #depressionsucks #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthuk #mentalhealthstigma #anxietydisorder #anxietyquotes #anxietysucks #anxietyproblems #mentalhealthsupport #1in4 #1in4mentalhealth #itsoknottobeok #asktwice #notesonanervousplanet #matthaig

One thing I like about this house is the log burning fire, it’s so cosy when it’s lit and just chillin’ by the fire with a hot chocolate and Netflix is definitely a good way to spend an evening.🏠🔥🍫
What’s you’re favourite way to chill out?
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#logburner #cosy #winter #makingahouseahome #spotlightonmyhome #home #decor #atmine #realhomes #instagood #instadaily #instamood #netflixandchill #endowarrior #chronicillness #spoonie #1in10 #1in4

We Are Easily Overwhelmed and Triggered. (Can you blame us!)
If you reach out and we don’t respond right away, we’re not being rude, we’re trying to protect ourselves from endless triggers. We often live on a schedule set by Dr’s for different treatments. Going to appointments we don’t want to be at. Up way too early for any sane human being. Giving ourselves shots in crazy places on our body. Taking drugs that make us feel emotional and irrational. We are having uncomfortable procedures and talking about awkward situations on the daily. So, anything baby related will be a huge trigger right now. We are in between worlds…We are either freshly hurt or going in completely terrified. We’re trying to keep it all together and juggling 10k different things at once. It’s hard to put our self first so please don’t make us apologize for it. We need extra help and understanding right now. There we said it. So please, don’t add extra pressure or guilt trips on us. Check in. Say hi, lend a hand, heart or ear.

We Are Aware Of Our Irrational Thoughts And Hate Ourselves For It (Trust me)
We know all the stats and all our odds and remind our self to flip them around to stay positive but that doesn’t stop us from fearing the wort case scenarios. The what ifs, that constantly play in our minds. Understand if we hate every pregnant woman around us. We know that these emotions are not always rational, but we don’t need to be reminded of it. We already beat ourselves up about it. Trust me. Just be on our team no matter what. Sometimes that means Team Bitter Betty and Jealous Jenny. Don’t leave us hangin!

Head to the Blog to read the rest of these honest truths! And share yours too!

I'm looking out my window and watching snow fall. Blanketing. Covering. Whitewashing everything. I'm looking out my window and watching the ugly turn pure. The fallen dead leaves covered by a white blanket. The uneven earth leveled by snow.
A week ago I saw this quote. "If hugs were snowflakes I'd send you a blizzard." It resonated with me and I thought "when God sends me a blizzard I'll see it as His warm embrace. I'll see it as a message of love from Him, even during this dark period." Yesterday was a rotten day. It was a day I needed a hug. Then I heard the forecast and I got warily hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, God was out there, somewhere, sending me a message. But I couldn't believe it until I saw it. Until the snow began to fall.
I was in the parking lot of my local grocery when the snow began to fall. I looked up at the sky, and whispered in awe, "Its actually snowing." A stranger walking past me, smiled, and said "...and right on time." He didn't know how right he was. And he didn't know the meaning behind my whispered prayer. The snow was right on time to hug my broken heart. The snow was right on time to warm my soul with its coldness. The snow was right on time for me.

This morning I doubted God. I questioned why He would give me so much joy, a positive pregnancy test after 4 years of trying to conceive, only to take it away 11 weeks later. I wondered what happens to prayers when the baby they have been uttered for is gone. I asked if Anyone was even out there listening. And then He sent snow. He sent me a hug. He didn't explain. He didn't clarify. But He sent me hug when I needed it most.
I'm looking out my window and watching snow fall. I'm looking out my window and feeling God hug me.
#miscarriage #infantloss #ihadamiscarriage #pregnancyloss #1in4 #infertility #ivf

Left: 2016
Right: 2018 (today) ---------------
No matter how hard you work, how much you put into something, life has a way of knocking you flat on your face when you least expect it. I went from obese, to super skinny, to who I am today. (Strong) -------------------
Two months ago, my husband and I were expecting a little one, but God wanted to meet our baby first. To say it has crushed me would be an understatement. But I know he or she woke up looking at Heaven ❤️
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No matter what life throws at you, you CAN keep going and push forward to smash your fitness goals. It's one of the most difficult things you'll do, but the most rewarding in the end. 💪🏻
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#1in4 #miscarriage #fitness #liftheavy #thickthighs #crossfit #gym #413apparel #bbcom #weightloss #princetonclub #fitbit #strong #competition #progress #beauthentic #fitpregnancy #fit

Back to work today and tomorrow, the dog is in the start of her heat cycle (the bleeding part 😩) and we have a house inspection today.

Life goes on and i think that's okay. Having to keep up with everything else in our world is a reminder that this grief, this loss though never forgotton and this desire for children is not the only good, hard and worthy thing in our lives!

#journey #hardtimes #itsgonnabeok #lifegoeson #findjoy #grief #ttc #ttccommunity #jesus #faith #hope #miscarriage #miscarriagesupport #1in4

#Repost @faceofinfertility Thank you for starting this project, spreading awareness, and choosing my story as one of many to share. You made me feel amazing. I can’t wait to watch this project flourish. Please follow my journey - https://hawksofhopeinfertilityjourney.wordpress.com and follow @faceofinfertility to learn about all the variations of infertility that exist. ・・・
We’re so excited to start sharing snippets of the project with you... Katerina shared: “2017 was the hardest year of my life but it's made 2018 the most rewarding. I love my life. I love my little family. My dreams came true.” We love K for being an open book and inspiring other women ♥️ #faceofinfertility #pcos #ivf #infertilityawareness #pcosawareness #ivfsuccess #miscarriageawareness #1in4 #1in8

I've been looking for the words & courage to say this... still not really sure how to say what I'm feeling.
A few weeks ago, I recieved an unexpected surprise. I was going to be a mommy again. I was terrified of raising two kids under the age of 2 and an 8 year old but with Trever by my side, my worries grew smaller every day. I saw my precious little baby (via sonogram) on Friday. My heart was growing and making love for this new little life we would be meeting in June. I sat here with Trever as he rubbed my belly and we talked about how we wanted a boy and how our life was going to change. I didnt realize that this was the way it was going to change.
On Sunday 11/11 we lost our baby. My life became a whirlwind. My heart shattered. I lost a part of myself. I'm working on trying to get it back...they say time helps. I am in a lot of pain, physically and emotionally. I know I will be okay, Trever has taken amazing care of me(while struggling with all of this himself) & my kids have been giving me tons of cuddles and loving their momma. I'm hoping this torture in my body stops soon & I can begin to move forward.
Please keep any prayers or good thoughts coming our way at this time.
Rest Easy my little baby Young 🌻
#miscarriage #loss #1in4

I wrote a long post for pregnancy and infant loss awareness day on October 15th. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to post it that day, or anything relating to the topic for that matter. It’s not that I had forgotten my 3 previous losses at the time.....trust me, that’s not even remotely possible. My heart aches every day for each of those precious babies. My heart also aches for every woman and family who has had to go through this. .
While I didn’t participate that day to help bring awareness to pregnancy loss, I was VERY “aware” that day. You see, I was pregnant at the time, 8 weeks to be exact. After my third IUI failed, Pete and I decided to take a month off. My body needed a break before we took the next step of our journey (IVF) - no procedures, no injections, no meds - a month to rest. Who knows, maybe we would get pregnant on our own? And that is just what happened! We were shocked, excited, cautiously optimistic, but also completely scared to death because of our history. .
On Oct 15th, this is part of what I wrote but never posted, “Now we sit here facing the same fate once again. I’m 8 weeks today. What if this was supposed to be our rainbow? What if this was a healthy pregnancy? But we are not going to be able to see this pregnancy come to fruition and get to hold a baby in our arms. It’s a waiting game. Something is wrong. The baby isn’t growing like it should be, it’s heart isn’t beating strongly like it needs to be. The heartbeat was slow at our first ultrasound, got a little stronger at the second and gave us a little hope, to only have that taken away at the third when the heartbeat was weaker than the first time. We pray for a miracle, but also prepare ourselves for what is to come. We wait.....we wait for those dreaded words once again, “There is no heartbeat.” 💔💔” .
A week and a half ago at 11 weeks, we had to say goodbye once again as we lost our fourth baby. I honestly can’t even put into words the absolutely crushing devastation and heartbreak we feel. We don’t yet know where we will go from here. For now, we are just trying to heal the best we can.
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Cont.

new on the blog: "Thoughts After My Fourth Miscarriage" "I relive the worst parts of my fourth miscarriage every night. I lay in bed, but it takes so long for me to fall asleep. My husband sleeps next to me, and my thoughts return to November 4th....Every night I think of these moments. The moments we realized we were losing another baby, they are so sharp this time and I don't know why. Each time has been haunting in different ways, and I actually think each experience has made it more difficult to cope with these moments of realization." #linkinbio #1in4 #1in100 #recurrentpregnancyloss #recurrentmiscarriage #ihadamiscarriage #infertilityblogger
#infertilitysucks #pcos

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