Cooking has always been one of my strengths. So when we were invited to our future daughter-in-law’s family’s home for dinner for the first time, I was excited to make something unique and deliciously homemade.
My future DIL, we’ll call her Pam, can’t eat dairy. I truly love a cooking challenge and changing things to dairy-free can be complicated. So for this big event, I decided to make the Elvis Presley Poundcake (without dairy of course) for Pam and her family.
For some unknown reason, I didn’t really think much about the science of it all and I just replaced “real” this with “fake” that throughout the complicated & dairy-rich recipe. It did not occur to me that there really IS a science to baking… hmmmm, oh really?
So, into the oven it went. When I checked on it an hour later, I was truly taken aback. I’d never seen anything like it. The batter was bubbling like soup in a witch’s cauldron OR even better, like CHEMICALS in a science lab. Huge bubbles coming to the surface, popping — and then more bubbles! Boiling, thick batter — in the OVEN?!! Fortunately (or not) it looked just fine when it was done 2-1/2 hours later. So I packaged it up and took it to our future family-in-law’s house. After dinner, I sliced it up as if I didn’t KNOW it was peculiar and put strawberries and FAKE whipping cream on top and served it proudly to everyone. It really WAS lovely looking. Everyone was excited to eat it until we all took our first bite. It was 100% inedible. It WAS a science experiment gone bad. It tasted like a thick piece of polyester foam — at best. With cool whip and strawberries on top.
Two very nice LIARS said it was good — and ate it, very slowly. My husband and Pam’s kind father. No one else ate more than their first tiny bite. #worstever
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