Then VS now.
(35lb difference & an iPhone upgrade)
It took me YEARS to achieve the point of having a healthy relationship with my own reflection, fitness, and food. I’m at a place now where I can achieve my fitness goals with a healthy mentality, but I wasn’t always in this place of peace. And I want to add that it isn’t a magic switch, it’s a daily practice of self appreciation and gratitude.
I always have a bit of fear in sharing my personal story because of the cruelty of the internet, so please be kind and keep in mind that your words can affect not just the person you’re insulting, but the vulnerable girl or boy scrolling through reading and absorbing your words onto themselves.
Left pic: 2014 I developed anorexia (though I secretly had disordered eating on and off throughout high school) but disguised it as my “love for fitness”. & I did and still do love fitness-but I hid my def destruction behind being a “gym rat”. I had major anxiety about my past and allowed it to manifest into self-hatred. I blamed myself for sexual abuse. I blamed myself for toxic relationships. I starved my body down -30lbs lower because deep down I wanted to disappear.
I called suicide hotline out of desperation one day and changed my mind about my course, and was shortly after blessed with my dog (rip) who changed the way I saw the world.
2018: I still deal with bad days, but I’m stronger during them. I train because I love it and I eat to fuel my body and goals without attaching my body to my self-worth. I forgive myself everyday for the damage I did during those early years and soak up abundance around me. I laugh at my belly rolls, I don’t mind my cellulite.
I eat healthy so I can have a clear mind and energized body. I forgive the people from my past who used me and abused me, and I thank the universe for showing me a man’s kind love through @nimai_delgado
I practice self love daily. I skip the gym when I want to but I push through tough workouts when I need to.
Please don’t give up on yourself💜 & don’t judge a book by its cover. ~ @biancataylorm ~ @sundaymorningview