For the last few weeks I've been feeling my depression&anxiety slowly sneaking back up on me. .
I've constantly been on edge with a tightness in my chest, and I've been constantly fighting with myself because I don't want to fall back into it. .
But last night and this morning, I felt myself giving up. When we got back from our trip, I looked around the house and I just felt like the world was caving in on me....so I decided to just go to bed. .
When I woke up this morning, I was angry. I was filled with so much frustration and annoyance and feeling like people just need to leave me the freak alone! I was so ready to give up on my responsibilities. A two year old can take care of them self, right?!
Then my husband and little girl came in to check on me and they surprised me with my shake in bed. They made it together and it was so cute because I could hear them outside the door... him trying to teach her to say "surprise", but when they did come in, she just threw it at my face....
Not quite the surprise I was hoping for...
But in that moment I realized that I can't do this again. I can't let my life fall apart..again. Even when I feel like nobody really cares about me...they do...someone always cares...and I need help! .
So, I started researching medications that were safe for pregnancy even though I went off mine initially when I found out I was pregnant. .
Turns out the one I was on is safe if you are on it the whole pregnancy, but if you start fresh again later in pregnancy it can cause a whole ton of complications and withdrawals on baby....
So, no thanks! As much as this child has been driving me insane, I'm still not a risk taker...
I'm still going to ask my doctor what he thinks, but in the meantime I needed to do something to lift my spirits even just a little. .
Believe me...the last thing I wanted to do right now is workout, but I KNOW from my past experiences that it DOES help...even just a little bit to take some of that edge off...
So, I whipped open my laptop, logged into my Beachbody on Demand (Netflix for workouts) , and found a workout that I know I enjoy and felt like I could do in this moment.
(Read the rest on FB)